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Hey, y'all it's Erin. Thank you for being here. It's just me today. So I'm excited to dive into. Some amazing things about. Energy and attraction. And honestly, Consistency and senior living. I don't think we talk about it enough. Aye. I think. That, where we make a mistake in senior living is that. Not enough emphasis is put on the soft skills. We talk about metrics and we talk about revenue and goals and all this, but we miss the important stuff. It doesn't matter how many goals and metrics you have. If you are not engaged with your team, if your team isn't bought into the process, if you don't have trust inside of your community, if you don't understand what soft skills are important inside of a community. Then the goals will never be met. They will never be happy. And you will never feel fulfilled. Because we're all looking for peace. And we're all looking for the ability to. Take time off and still give great care. Inside of a community. So, this is an important episode because I really am a firm believer in the soft skills and you need to become a firm believer and the soft skills too. That is where success lies. If my career tells me anything. It is that soft skills are the most important piece inside of leadership in senior living industry.Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone)-1:
It just doesn't get talked about enough. And so that's what we're going to talk about today. And so prepare yourself for this next sentence. Are you ready?Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone):
You don't get what you want. You do get what you are. And so the question is what are you. That's. Hard to define. So are you happy? Joyous, optimistic. Are you. Pessimistic thinking that nothing's ever going to go, right? No matter how hard you try, I'm always leaning on the negative side and waiting for the shoe to drop. Or are you like what I used to say? And I'm a realist. And so therefore I know that I can make it happen. Probably, but it's going to be hard. I can't say that I'm an optimist now. But I can say that I'm more of an optimist than I've ever been. I'm working on. Sunshine pumping and blooms in the gardens. My mindset is definitely much better. Um, But I am not a pessimist. And I am less of a realist than I used to be, which I believe a realist is just a very confused pessimists. So I digress. Okay. If there is one thing that I think is true. In life now, just in comparing who I was for the majority of my life and who I am today. Is that the energy that you feel is the energy that you will attract. Right. The conductor of energy, we are all. Energy. Or beings full of energy. And so the question is, what kind of energy do you feel. Just like they say that a baby feels the energy of the person that's holding it. And so therefore they'll act the way that the person. Holding the baby is like, if you're a brand new mother and you're anxious, your child's going to be anxious. Right. What kind of energy do you have as a leader? You know, a lightening rod conducts energy. An acupuncture needle is metal. And it's supposed to move energy throughout your body. So, what kind of energy are you attracting? Because you're putting that type of energy off. I used to be, I think I don't even want to say angry because angry is such a simple term for the feelings of resentments and hopelessness and, um, Numbing Which is what a lot of us do. In healthcare. But the type of energy. That I. Had. Was two-fold. I was excited. And completely open and honest with my families and really very, the, my most authentic self. And then I was resentful. When it came to the other side of my professional career, which is with home office. Just based on past experiences. And so you can look at my career and you can see the energy that I attracted for the type of residents that I had and the family members that I had inside of my community. Was. Positive and loving and respectful. And then the energy that I exuded from professional side, where I was just resentful and angry and didn't feel safe. Was a negative energy. More on the negative side. And then I received negative energy when I just so desperately wanted some positive energy. That's the type of thing that you need to be aware of. Right. You as the leader have to be the energy in the room. So what energy do you have? Because where your focus goes. That's where your energy flows. So, what are you focusing on? Are you focusing on things that you have to do. Versus things that we can do to make things better. Where we get in trouble is we start focusing on. What we have to do. When we're supposed to, as leaders see things as they are. And we can say that right now, things are a little complicated in the senior living world. We, we think that people don't want to work. We think that people don't want to work hard. That may or may not be true, but if we think that does it serve us? Does it make you feel better about your team? If you think that they don't want to work hard? Does it make you feel better? About the care that you're giving. Your communities. Or the residents in your communities? Because it's much better. If we think that everybody's trying to do the best they can. And how can I affect change in a positive way? That's what you can do. Instead of what we have to do, right. Because as leaders. We're supposed to see things as they are, but then see it better. Because we have to create what we see. That's the vision. If you're a leader without a vision. Then you don't leave. You're not leading anyone. we get hampered by the small stuff and we lose sight of that big vision. When all of the stress is piling on us. And that's when we have to be careful about our energy. Because when we start focusing on the negative, our energy changes. And we may not be aligned with our vision at that time. Or with. The type of energy that the community needs to even make leaps and bounds or baby steps towards that vision. And this is where it gets very important for you to have positive support around you. It is so easy to talk to other people about. All the bad stuff. Believe me, I've done it. But does that constantly serve you? No, sometimes it's good to get it out. But what you need to put back in is positive energy. So be careful where you go and get your support. Because it's from somebody else who just has a bunch of negative energy. Then it's not going to be healthy, nor will it serve you and trying to create. The vision. That you have for your community. So this is. Important. This is where I use my own personal examples because I was two people and I've referenced this a few minutes ago, but I was two people inside of my career. I was the executive director. Truly authentic to who I was and the vision that I had for my community. I know that the calling in my life. Is to change people's lives. I know that 100%. But for the first 20 years of. My professional career, it was inside of a senior living community. If you had gray hair or if you had black hair with a little bit of gray, Um, I'm going to be in your life and we're going to change your life for the better. Okay. I authentically was living out the calling of my life. I was open. I was true to who I am. Bigger picture of who I am. I loved people for who they were. I just genuinely loved people. I was not guarded. I spoke about vulnerable things inside of my community. And in my life to help relate to these family members. And we bonded my caregivers and I bonded my. Olin airy team bonded every part of my community as a leader, I lead authentically. To the vision that I had. Very humbly. Right that ego versus humility. But there was this other side of me. That was very resentful about some of the experiences that I've had and the professional side of my career through big corporations and different things. And. I then had this. Ego mindset. For lack of better words, right? The scarcity, the fear of I'm not enough, the fear of rejection, the fear of failure, the fear of judgment, all of those things, which I have now come to the realization that that is an ego. Whereas I knew the calling on my life in the executive director role. I was scared and wrapped up in fear. From the professional side. So I. Vacillated back and forth between this abundance and scarcity scarcity mindset. Which, let me tell you it's exhausting. It is just exhausting. But if I would have been secure enough, And this idea that. No one can take the calling of your life away. When it's yours. It's yours. Right. When we realize that our life is much bigger than our current circumstances. And that you're truly in full control of how each circumstance affects you. Your future. You win. And so I let ego. Fear. The idea of scarcity, get in the way. Of my relationships with. The corporation. But I had such a connection, such a humble spirit and lived in such an abundant mindset inside of my community. That. I didn't have a fear of scarcity because I knew that people would come and want to live in my community because we were that good. We were not perfect. What we cared. A lot. And I cared about doing the right thing all the time. And honestly, it's that humility. That confidence in the identity and the vision and the goals that we had inside of our community. That attracted people to live at every single community that I worked at. And it was the ego mentality, the scarcity mindset, the fear of judgment, the fear of failure, the fear of rejection and all of that is what attracted that negative energy. From the home office. So, if you ever want to know about energy, Here it is. You get what you are. And I am one person with two outcomes based on the energy that I was exuding. Truly humility is knowing that you are a small piece of this big pie. That we call life right. And that you can give and receive in amazing ways. Every circumstances teaches you something. It's, it's a lesson that's preparing you for the next phase of your life. So when you are wrapped up in that fear and scarcity mindset, you know, the fear of rejection, the fear of judgment, the fear of failure, all those fears. Make sure that you understand that that's your ego, that's talking. And that if you take yourself less serious and stay more focused on serving other people in a humble way, You will shift your energy. And if you are rejected, if you are judged and if you do fail, You are in control of what that means in your life. You are. Oh, and the story. That's the most important lesson to learn. Because everything in life is connected to the next step in your life. Because as leaders, we are to see things as they are. And then see it. Okay. And then go and cast your vision to creative. Because the truth is even if you feel like you're failing. Success is always there. We just have to find it. We just have to find the success. It literally is right around the corner. The word allow has now been entered into my vocabulary. I will allow the success in my life. I will allow the compliments in my life. I will allow the negative circumstances in my life. To humble me. And grow me to the next phase of my life. Success is always there. How many times have we lost our keys and then couldn't find them. Until we just took a breath and started looking in the obvious places. Right. When we looked for our glasses and we put them in the refrigerator. They were always there. We just couldn't find them. Until we just took a breath. And looked in the most obvious places. Aye. Heard this example recently. And I thought I would share it with you. And the word allow. When we want success. Okay. Depending on what type of success that you want. A hundred percent success growing into a regional director, growing into a vice president, whatever kind of success that you want. How are you allowing success in your life right now? Do you take compliments? Well, Are do you say. That. Oh, thank you. This, this shirt was nothing. Oh, I got this person on the clearance rack. I used to say that all the time. Um, Or do you just receive the compliment and say, thank you. I've worked really hard. And I appreciate the flag that you noticed that thank you for paying attention to the hard work that I have. It really means a lot to me. Or even the example of when somebody wants to buy you lunch or buy you a gift. How you turn that down in the way that you turn that down. No, no, no, no, no, no. Please don't do that. That makes the person who wants to bless you. Who wants to honor you. Not feel good about the gift that they want to give you. So the word allow is important. What do you allow? How do you receive. If you want a bigger role in the community or in the regional level. One of the exercises. To think about in how much and how. How much do we allow ourselves to receive? If you were at a birthday party and everyone who went around the room, And started talking about the impact that you had on their life. Or complimenting you. In such a way that it lasted 30 minutes. Could you take that? You know, I envisioned that exercise. And I. I'm not sure if I could take that. So maybe I'm not ready for a huge. Increase Of success just yet. I can certainly accept it and allow it better than I ever have. But I feel like I still have a long way to go. And so what about you? Do you feel like you could. Allow compliments for 30 minutes. While everybody goes around the room. And tells you. The positive impact that you have had on their life. And if the answer is yes, get ready to receive. What all life has for you start working in humility and abundance. And knowing that success is right around the corner. And if not start slow by accepting compliments and saying, thank you. Let them buy you lunch and saying, thank you. This means a lot to me. Because if you want to honor somebody, do you want them to decline? Your honor. Your meal. Your lunch. Your note. Don't do that for somebody else. Oh, wow. It. And if you're not comfortable in giving compliments to people that, you know, because that honestly is the art of vulnerability as well. Start doing it to people in the gas stations or the coffee shop that you go to. I've always done that innately, but then I heard. On a podcast where people would do that to practice being vulnerable. And it became something that I strategically and intentionally started doing because when I give value to others, I feel more valuable. When I see how I can light up the gas station attendant space. By a compliment. From so many that she doesn't know. I know that I'm changing lives and that's just a simple compliment to a stranger. Practice there. And then bring it into your community or into your regional team. Because when we allow success, compliments, positive grays and negative circumstances in our life without turning it into negative energy or fear of failing. Successes there. You just have to find it. Because what does success require? It requires grit. And if you've ever been. Gritty in your life. Where you held on your white knuckled? It. Where you just kept going, even though everyone was telling you to stop. What kept you going? it was that vision. Grit requires vision. It requires a vision bigger than ourselves. Why would somebody. Practice. Playing the piano over and over and over again. For the, for the majority of their life, because their vision was to play. At a concert one day. Why would you work out if you were into CrossFit or anything like that? At the wee hours of the morning, because you wanted to win a competition because you wanted to lift your personal best in the weights. It's a vision that's bigger than ourselves. If you want a hundred percent occupied community. You have to see it. And that has to be your vision. Because when you are. Believing in your vision. Compelled by your vision. You can be gritty. Because grit is what requires success. So. What else? Beside. Grit do you need to be successful? It's consistency. You have to be willing to improve. Consistently. When we talk about energy and when we talk about grit and we talk about success, You have to be consistent with the thoughts. That bring the positive energy. Now I've been super honest about all of my mindset work. And mindset issues that I've had over the course of my career. And the truth is what's wrong is always available. But so is what's right. And I always. Veered tour what's wrong because I like to solve problems. I do. I love to solve problems. And so I always looked for the problems. But when you always look for the problems. That creates an energy and anxiety. It's something else is always about to fall. But when you look at problems as opportunities to grow and to learn. Then we don't have to necessarily feel the negative energy in the angst. Around it. So be consistent with how you think. You are always enough. Always enough, you may not be right. About something you may be wrong, you may have made a mistake. But you are always enough. And whatever job that we're in. It was just a chapter in a much bigger book. Which is your life. So. You are enough, just the way you, that you are. We can always improve and learn, which is the exciting part about life. But. Never questioned your worth, your value. And whether that you are enough. Because what's right is just as available as what's wrong. And when you solve every problem. With the empowerment and the accountability of yes, I made this mistake. Here's what I did to correct it. And here's what I learned for the future. Man, what a blessing that is anyone. Imagine if one of your associates or your managers came to you with that type of information, it would be great. So. Ask these questions. When you were in the thick of the rough times inside your community, what is great about this community? What is happening. What is good because of this community. Those questions are very, very important. Because when you get lost in that negative energy, which we will. This will pull you out of it. Because what's right is just as available as what's wrong. And one of the other things that helped me is that I always look at today only. When you only focus on the present. It's hard to get very anxious. It's when you cast out. Your net. And you're looking too far in advance. Stay close. Today. And then as the day goes on, you look at tomorrow. But stay as present as you can possibly be, because anxiety is hard to creep in. If you're staying present. Because remember. You want to see things as they are. Not worse. But consistency is your superpower, your consistent thoughts. You're consistent stories that that we tell ourselves Your consistent actions to commit no matter the outcome. You have to commit to making follow-up calls 24 hours after they first called. You have to commit to saying good morning to all of your associates. You have to commit to making sure that you step into the activity room and say, hello, maybe call a game of bingo. You have to commit to going to the dining room and help serve a meal. You have to commit to making sure that you call all hands on deck if a department is suffering and you have the ability to do that. Those consistent actions build you credibility. And that consistent action builds confidence for your leadership. And your vision that you have for that community rests in the identity that you create. And honestly you create your identity based. On the consistent actions. That you do for you and that you do for that community. Because, the promises that you keep to yourself builds your confidence. Your courage. And connection to the team. And to yourself. And from your confidence and your courage and your connection. Your credibility. So that's my thoughts about energy. And success. And being consistent. Your consistency in both the good and the bad is where your credibility, your identity and your confidence lies. When you choose to think about everything that's going wrong. You are creating the negative energy. But when you choose to focus on what's going right. You're choosing positive energy, which will attract more positive energy. And if you have a team that's more negative energy than positive energy. You have to be that lightening rod. And you have to be the biggest energy in that community where you can conduct that positive energy throughout. And it doesn't happen overnight. And it's certainly exhausting. Consistently doing it will help you win. Over the negative. enegy. And when you're humble and you're working in humility and you're serving your team and your residents and their families, and you believe everything you do is going to reap a reward. Then that is how you win. Because success is always there. We just have to find it. You just have to keep going and being consistent with those actions and the positive energy. And to be a true abundant, authentic person. You have to understand the value in yourself. And so when I say that you can't love yourself. If you can't be yourself. I don't mean like, conceited type of energy. I'm talking about, you have to know your worth. And your value. Love yourself because love is an energy. So you can't love yourself. If you can't be yourself. And you can't be yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, So go out there and know your worth. That you can find success because it's always there. That you know you can grit through it because think about the last five amazing things that you've done in your life. That what's right. Is always available just as what is wrong. And when you focus on what's going great in your community and in your life. you will attract more greatness. So. You're worth it. They're worth it. Keep going, be consistent. And go out there and attract what you are. Because that's what you want. You want to attract that positive energy and live humbly in that. abundance mindset. I have lived both. I have lived both one way. And I have lived both where I was working in abundance and working in scarcity. And now I am trying my best to constantly live in the abundance mindset where I know my worth and my value. And I attract people who believe that about me and think the same way and believe the same way about themselves. And life is much easier. When you have no ego. And when you realize that life is working for you, And not against you. And that you will attract what you are. And I am a person. who is full of positive energy. So I hope this helps. As always I am available to you. If you ever want to schedule a zoom call. My favorite thing to do is add value to the leaders in the senior living industry. And as always. Aspire for more. For you.