A Talk with Social Media Dementia Expert JoAnna Lafleur

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Transcript

Erin: 0:35

Welcome back to another episode of the Aspire for More with Erin podcast, where I am excited because I have Ms. Joanna LaFleur with us today. Hi, Joanna. Hi, thank you so much for having

JoAnna: 0:48

me.

Erin: 0:49

I'm happy and honored to have you here with me today to discuss lots of things. But first of all, we need to talk about. Who the professional Joanna is. It's very impressive. The founder of Memory Lane Foundation, dementia care expert, a former owner operator of Memory Lane communities, a memory care community, and then of course, A speaker now a speaker speaking to people because she's a dementia care expert and also my friend as of December of 2023. That's right. That's right. So excited to say that. Yeah, so there's a lot to talk about here in this list, right? Yeah So tell me how it all started for you. How did you get into? Senior living how did it start and how did we

JoAnna: 1:49

get

Erin: 1:50

here?

JoAnna: 1:51

Okay. it started because my grandma had Alzheimer's, so it starts from like a family perspective where I was trying to help get the right care for her. And then, I was actually studying to be an elementary education teacher and I was in college and I got offered a job as an activity assistant in a nursing home. And I thought, my grandma really likes the activities. It's keeping her going. Maybe I can do that for other people. I'm going to try it. It was like one week into the, nursing home I was working at, and I was like, this is what I was created to do. This is absolutely what I need to be doing with my life. I fell in love with elders. I knew that, I could make a difference in their lives, and it was just a beautiful thing to see. Things like music and other things that would light them up. And that's something that I've been doing my whole life. So I changed my major into recreational therapy and never looked back. I worked in facilities for six years where I was a rec, rec therapy director, activity director. And then worked in home care for a bit. And then, I like pretty much everywhere I worked, I felt like this is not a place I would want my parent to receive care in. And so I was like, there has to be a better way there. I know there's a better way. and so I decided to start my own company. I just started waiting tables and then I grew originally an in home private duty care company from the ground up and then really notice that we would end up in facilities a lot in memory care communities that we would be 1 on 1 with them when they were already paying the price of the memory care and how. Challenging that was for families and realizing that there needs to be a better option. And so I created a concept where I had six, six bedroom homes. I had three of them and I started with one and then two, then three. And, we did a one to three staffing ratio. We had all of our staff intensely trained on dementia, both when they start and monthly trainings. We had, A lot of all of our food was homemade. We had activities throughout the day. We had outings every week. We had a beautiful thing. And I'm really proud of what we did there and the quality of life that we gave people and all the things that we were able to introduce. And then I knew it was time for me to make a little bit more of a global impact because it was wonderful that I was doing it for this corner of the world, little corner of Michigan. But what about the other people out there? And so I wanted to do something else. And so I decided to pivot and do this nonprofit foundation where I can support not only families in the community, but also other operators that are trying to do what I did or don't know how to do what I did and trying to support them with education.

Erin: 4:35

Yeah, that is huge. That's a huge, goal. That's a massive lift for anyone. To create own and operate a memory care community. so talk about the homes. Give me the structure of it. what was it? They were individual homes.

JoAnna: 5:01

Yep. Individual homes. And I got really lucky that all three of my homes were within three miles of each other. we started with one home and I had only been in business two years, so I couldn't get a business loan. So I just got a mortgage on the house and then supported it with the home care until I could support it. And I started my company with a thousand dollars. 10 years ago and, grew it very big. And, so yeah, the homes were six, but what we did was we purchased four bedroom homes and we converted the garages into two more bedrooms. So we had a six bedroom ranch. With three bathrooms and so we had two staff in there all day and all evening and then, I had one staff in each home at on midnights and one staff then that, that went through all three homes throughout the night. So I had two people whenever we needed them. we really had, it was very much a family. it really felt like when you walked in, you were walking into a home that anyone wanted to live in. That's what I wanted. you hear in the community, so many people saying things like it's a home, we want to make a home light environment and a large community just doesn't feel like home to someone with dementia, unfortunately. And a home, they felt like we called it their home away from home. And we have people that they would say, I, they would go to the hospital and to their family, they would say, I want to go home. And they meant memory lane. That was their home. I remember one guy moved in one time and he was lunchtime and he was, his daughter was about to leave. And I said, so what do you think about this place? You do you like it here? And he said, I think I do like it and I think I'm going to stay. And his daughter was just like, that's the only thing she wanted to hear, yeah,

Erin: 6:43

absolutely. So compared to, let's talk about compared to your work inside Other senior living communities and your community that you owned and operated, what do you think the difference was? I know you reference training and how you did that.

JoAnna: 7:05

Yeah. I agree.

Erin: 7:07

Yes. Compare the 2 for me.

JoAnna: 7:09

I created a very intensive five hour dementia training. That's a dementia 1 0 1, basically, and it goes through all the different types of dementias, the care considerations and needs. Not just what is frontotemporal dementia, but what does frontotemporal dementia people that have it need? What do they need? What are their preferences? How do you handle it? and then the stages and then going through redirection techniques delusions and showering and activities with them and, how to respond to a lot of questions that they have that are challenging and things like that. And so they would really get, a good overview, but then we would do a mandatory monthly training, which is really hard to do. And after you get people to come, but what we, what I told people, what I told people when they, when I did their orientation, I said, if you can't commit to coming to a two hour training once a month, then you should quit now, because that is an expectation. And it's not something that you can make up either. You come to them or you lose your job. And that's the only way I was able to get people to come. And the cool thing was I made them into almost like a party for the staff every month, because I would make a meal for them. And I would do games and prizes and then I would do education and we would also do like awards and stuff. And so many people told me one of their favorite things about working for me was coming to our monthly meetings. yeah, so that was a huge thing.

Erin: 8:36

Yeah, I didn't do exactly. That, but I did do something similar with when we had our monthly trainings inside of the community, and I do that when I speak to it is like the idea of reciprocity. when you're an owner and operator or when you're an executive director and you are literally just so full of everything that you have to do and you have to sit there and you have to hear about more things that you have to do, I've realized to avoid overwhelming people pour into them first. Give something first and then all of a sudden everything just settles in and you're able to receive. Yes. big part of a huge part of actually getting into the psyche of people is that idea of reciprocity.

JoAnna: 9:29

Yeah, giving, we would really make them about three things, the meetings, one was education, but the other two was about camaraderie and creating relationships in between the caregivers and also appreciation and we spent a lot of time on appreciation at the meetings and other times.

Erin: 9:48

Yeah, say that again. Let's say that again. It was about reciprocity, giving to people. It was about appreciation and then education. Yeah, that is a framework for a good monthly meeting. Give something, right? Give something, then show appreciation and then educate them. Yep.

JoAnna: 10:12

And make it special. So we, we would do monthly themes and we would have like a Cinco de Mayo theme. So we would have a taco and nacho bar, and then we would do a pinata together that had like adult things in it. And we would have so much fun with that. And then we would sit down and have a training. And I tried to make the trainings very interactive as well so that they could practice it while they were there. And so they would do it better on the floor.

Erin: 10:38

So now let's fast forward the camera a little bit to what you're doing now, which is being the dementia care expert on all your LinkedIn. Do you find that work inside the community that you owned and operated has now translated? the way that you structured those staff meetings is the way that you structure your dementia care expert videos.

JoAnna: 11:05

I think so. Yeah. one of the things that I wanted to do was really provide tangible, practical tips that people could have a bite sized piece of it and then be on their way and use it. So that's why I decided to do 1 to 3 minute videos and it's hard to do 1 to 3 minute videos. It's hard to get as much information in as you want and not talk too much, but talk enough, So I do think, and also just my experience with the types of residents we had because we really did get some of the most challenging people with dementia that were often kicked out of other places and would move into us. And so I learned so much specifically about how to care for someone with Lewy body dementia and frontotemporal dementia and Huntington's and some of the ones that you don't really know that much about.

Erin: 11:50

can we talk about a Huntington's story? yeah. Okay. Cause this is really fun. fun in the sense of an education that I had that I didn't really understand Huntington's disease. And I had a young resident, that was inside my memory care. And she would say the same thing over and over again, like I need to go home and she'd become very, mean. And aggressive, and it felt not like dementia, it felt like it was really personal attacks. And I had just come back to work from being away from work for two years after my son was born. And I was not on 100 percent of my game, and I had gotten a little bit frustrated. And I turned around and I said to her, you are here for the foreseeable future. This is where you'll be. This is your home. This is where you will be. And her reaction, she was coming at me and then I started walking really fast. And then she started running and I thought, this is where I learned this incident alone is where I learned that I only say 30 days at a time. Yeah. Not

JoAnna: 13:10

even, I don't even do 30. Yeah.

Erin: 13:12

One day at a time. I'm like, you're here for the next, that particular incident. I realized I was in the wrong. I told her something that she could not reason or rationalize because I let her get to me. because she was so young and because the attacks were different than other attacks, but yet I realized it's all the same. I can tell somebody you're going to be here for 30 days because there's a definite end to it and then explain that it's based on the doctor's recommendation and other things and then we can move on, but instead I gave her Too much and it was too much and she reacted

JoAnna: 13:56

and that's when we talk about We don't know what we don't know right and we can't do better until we know. Yes.

Erin: 14:04

Yes, so How is Huntington's different than? Alzheimer's disease, obviously younger people,

JoAnna: 14:13

but also it does not affect their memory like Alzheimer's. They don't have a problem with memory though. The resident we had, he was younger and she was living in an independent living. And the reason she had to come to move with us is because of her reasoning ability was really off. And she was also severely depressed, both things that are very common with Huntington's. And he would wake up in the morning and she would not feel right or not feel good or not know what to do. And she would just call 911. And she did this on and on. And her daughter was a social worker, even a discharge planner. And her daughter would write notes and her daughter would do all this stuff and try to get her to call her and said, and she wouldn't. And so she was racking up these ER bills. and her daughter was like, she can't do it anymore. And so she came to live with us and it looked a lot different caring for her than it did for other people. And, If you didn't know her, and you didn't know she had Huntington's, you'd think she was just a helper in the house. Cause she remembered stuff better than I did. I would come, I remember coming in one time and asking the staff, Where are these blue bags that we put groceries in? Where are they? And she piped up and she goes, Oh, they're behind the couch. And I was like, okay, so we had to do it. And because we had to one to three staffing ratio, my staff had the time to spend with her to do special little outings with just her and to create craft projects and gardening projects for just her, stuff that she could do, and she was the one that was in charge of the baking and helping with the meals and stuff like that.

Erin: 15:48

Yeah. That's important. That's, I would say before today, I didn't give enough respect to smaller communities because I always worked in the bigger communities, but I have learned over time. There's a lot of respect to those smaller communities. If they have owners and operators, of course, who are passionate like you, then there is a lot of opportunities that these smaller communities offer than the larger ones for sure. But like you said, training has to be paramount. Did you see. what did you see a pattern like the staffing, the people who are entering the workforce today? There obviously seems to be a bit of a different, knowledge base, context giving than what we're used to. Did you start seeing that? A few years

JoAnna: 16:48

ago. Yeah, I think when you talk about Gen Z, it's a totally different generation. And I think the number one thing that people with Gen Z feel is that they need to do something that matters. and it doesn't matter, if it doesn't matter to them, then They're not going to do well with it. and so it was a lot about continually giving them the vision and getting and keeping them excited and passionate. Training is not just about knowledge. It's a, it's also about empowerment. And, even now I get people that are on my Tik TOK or on my Facebook and they message me directly and they say, I'm a caregiver in this memory care community and I don't know what I'm doing and your tips help me so much, that shouldn't be happening. They shouldn't have to reach out for their own training and try to find their own knowledge. We should be supporting them with that.

Erin: 17:39

True, but I also think that there is so much information on social media that It is out there to get. I know that I have learned a ton off of social media and I watch your videos and they're very informative and they're like, like you said, one to three minute clips. And I think there's something to say about training that corporations need to look at. Like all of a sudden, social media is a better trainer than inside, inside the workforce. So how can we, as a workforce mirror what social media is doing? I've learned a lot more, about life from social media than I ever have from. Work. and you're seeing it. You're seeing the real benefits of that just with people reaching out to you How do you have a lot of caregivers reach out to

JoAnna: 18:42

you? I do I have a lot of people that reach out to me. right now in six months I have over a hundred ninety five thousand followers and I get messages almost every day about people struggling with different Challenges that they have with their person, people needing education on specific topics, caregivers, nurses, PTs, OTs, all in the industry. And I have people that follow me from all over the world, the UK, South Africa. Australia, they're all following me. And it's a, it's the same everywhere where people just aren't getting that practical knowledge that they can use that day that will work. And I think the other thing is one thing I realized is education produces empathy. Because if you don't understand why that person with dementia is trying to beat the crap out of you or trying to, or saying something mean, then you're automatically just going to take offense to it. And you're going to be on the defensive and the offensive. And that's like the worst thing you can do. But we don't know better till we know better. And I saw people with the most challenging behaviors that have been kicked out of six buildings get the love and attention that they deserved at Memory Lane simply because of the education we provided. Because they understood this isn't about me. This is a brain illness. The brain is broken and, this is about what they need right now.

Erin: 20:07

Yeah, even back because I was an executive director over a 64 apartment memory care community. and I think back about. A community that size and we had a great team. we offered great care, It could have been better. even people who worked at that community for years would still get offended by things that residents would say or do and there were clues. That they, the caregivers, the associates working there didn't fully understand that they had dementia and that dementia would cause that and I often wondered why, like, why is that not? Connecting and my training wasn't as in depth as it could have been because a, I didn't have the bandwidth to do all the things, but I think that's where we are today inside the senior living where we have to get people in because the bandwidth is not the executive director cannot do it all the bandwidth is not here. the bandwidth is not there from a regional perspective to support the executive director. The executive director is probably doing 2 or 3 different jobs at 1 time. I think that training has been cut short and we're seeing the impacts of that. And, you said, education will breed to empathy and that's important.

JoAnna: 21:45

Yeah, when I'm in communities and I'm training the caregivers and I'm talking about topics like how to handle I want to go home and not saying you are home kind of thing, or how to handle aggression or how to handle it when, different things like that. And I see the light in their eyes. Light up and go Oh my gosh, I've been doing this wrong. And it's, and they tell me like, I've been doing it all wrong. it's not your fault for doing it all wrong because you don't know what you don't know. And you can only know better when you do better. but just, that's my, one of my favorite things about training is just seeing that little light bulb go on, Whoa, this is. This is about them. It's not about me.

Erin: 22:22

so when you hear that, when you hear that caregiver say that, what did they talk about? what was in their way? what did they think? They

JoAnna: 22:29

didn't have the education.

Erin: 22:32

They just assumed that they were like them. that's the thing about mental illness. I

JoAnna: 22:37

think if we communicate with people how we always communicate with people, we're going to not be successful in dementia care because dementia care takes intentionality and it really takes, going into their world. And what that means is, not treating'em like we would, you or I, and we love, love, love to correct people in life. And if they're saying something we, we feel like, they need to know. And that's how we treat people with dementia and but we don't understand that they literally do not have the ability to reason that's not in there anymore. And they're never going to agree with you.

Erin: 23:13

I understand that on a personal level, because I no longer try to, to orient. People to a reality that can't live in it appropriately, and instead you figure out what the motivation is to get that person to do that. what is, if you reason with somebody who cannot reason you are the full, it is not them. It's just not them. gosh, yes, there's several and you in it when you see family members struggle with that, it breaks. I know it breaks my heart because you just want to say to them. Let it go. Yeah. Enjoy what we have today, because tomorrow it could be gone. when you talk to most people whose journey is being a caregiver to someone with dementia is over. so much. you look, you think back and you're like, Oh, I could have done that so much better, that's why it's the long goodbye, you have to say goodbye to the last phase of who that person was and welcome,

JoAnna: 24:17

and how do you like that term? A long goodbye. I always tell people, I like to say the long hello, because you're meeting a new person every time you are with them. That like that. Yeah. But yeah. I think family caregivers, I didn't realize that. the need as much to educate family caregivers either because that's not something I did well in my communities. but now, like I have my first video that hit a million views was my video on Alzheimer's stages one through three. And that was the thing people needed that they don't even have the basic knowledge because they go in, they get a diagnosis and they get sent home with nothing. And so I want, I'm partnering right now also with hospitals and doctors and stuff to say, When you give a diagnosis, please give them my card. So they have someone to talk to about it.

Erin: 25:04

Yeah, that's good.

JoAnna: 25:06

Yeah.

Erin: 25:07

I have my own personal experience with what I believe Alzheimer's and dementia and autism are like the same developmental Hill and my son has autism. And it is fascinating how. They're very similar. They're just like the opposite of each other. And my career prepared me for motherhood for him. And then being his mother made me a better advocate for families. And that they were when they were coming in and they were at their wits end and they were feeling guilty. I could look at them and I could say me too, except for I'm powerful. like mine six years old and inside this entire community, you're going to have family members who feel just the way you do. And it's okay. And if they had a cast on their arm, we wouldn't ask them to hold the box that we were moving. We don't know which part of the brain is working today and which part is not going to work tomorrow. And so it's very frustrating and all we can do is just acknowledge it and by acknowledging it, that helps us, right? It doesn't necessarily help them, except for the fact that we just release that. We cannot control what we can't control. And unless you shot him them a shot to inflict him with dementia, right? There is no reason to feel guilty.

JoAnna: 26:33

exactly.

Erin: 26:35

Yeah. all So your videos are amazing. I get it. Like I said, I watched them. and your hair is so perfectly quaffed all the time.

JoAnna: 26:46

One of the biggest comments I get about is about my hair. It's hilarious. People either love it or hate it. And they're like, what is wrong with your hair? They get really upset about it. And I'm like, it's hilarious. Just my hair.

Erin: 26:58

I don't know. Never change it and maybe, change different colors or whatever, but never change it because it's really cool. But I do videos too sometimes, so we need people to understand. Being a social media influencer or, a dementia care expert, or just putting videos out there in general, it's not always unicorns and rainbows right in the garden full of blooms. It does take a little, like you said, intentionality, thought process, technical savvy. What was that learning curve like for you?

JoAnna: 27:37

when I started doing videos, it was actually, I have a twin sister who was doing videos for her, not for her, but for her company and I was like, I need to start doing videos and I had been wanting to do them for a few years and I said, I just don't like how I look on camera and she said, you know what? People don't care about that. They don't care about that and you need to just do it because it not doesn't need to be perfect. And so I did and I was shocked that some of the videos I thought were some of the worst videos ended up being the most watched. I literally just started with my iPhone. And literally a cardboard box with a, stand on it for my phone. And that's how I did my videos. And then, now I've evolved some to do some with my daughter in the videos, doing trainings on how to do redirection or how to do different activities. I do some, different places. and I still don't really edit my videos, but I do, I, if I make some mistakes, I just redo it or I stop it and then edit it a little bit, but I don't do a lot of editing and I, because that's just who I am and everything on all this stuff is really in my heart and in my head and I've been training it for a long time now. And so I can just speak from it, but, there's also a lot of different softwares out there that you can use where that you can even have a teleprompter on your phone and everything. It's just, there's resources out there to make it better.

Erin: 29:04

Yeah. Did you, did you have that thought process? Like we all have, when we have, when we try new things, you're just like, oh, and I guess you talked about it a little bit. oh my God, who would listen to me? Yeah. You know what I mean? I think sometimes we don't, we look at people, we watch your videos, we see the content that you have, we think, man, she's got it all together. Look at her. She's doing so good, but you're also two years in, you've been doing this now for at least 700 videos. You know what I mean? what did you have to overcome in your mind? And is it the same today as it was back then?

JoAnna: 29:43

Yeah, really it's been six months since I started doing the videos and I think I have, I think I have, on Tik TOK, I have the most videos. So I think I definitely have a couple hundred. and I think. I think I did get more confident over time because I saw the views and saw the need. And then I get messages from people that are just desperate for the help. And they say things like, I finally don't feel alone. Or, I got a couple of messages last week that said mom passed away in March. But it was your videos that made it better for me to care for. And those kind of messages make everything worth it. Just like when you're in a dementia care community and you want to pull your hair out, but you go give a resident a hug and they tell you, I love you. And they don't know who you are really, but they know who you are. That makes it worth it.

Erin: 30:35

Yeah. Leadership, social media influencing, and in working inside a community, like there is one key word. That is clear and that's authenticity. you do that, it shines through you on your videos. Even with your crazy hair, like that is Like you're the dementia care expert with the Mohawk. Perfect. It's not a

JoAnna: 31:03

Mohawk, but yeah, you know what I tell people now I tell people, I love my hair and the higher the hair, the closer to God. So that's right.

Erin: 31:11

like to me, it just goes to show you like authenticity wins every time. And I'm sure that your team when you were inside the memory lane, memory care communities, they felt the same way. Oh, yeah.

JoAnna: 31:26

I don't really know how to be anything other than authentic. Yeah. and so sometimes to evolve, but, that is definitely something I think everyone would say about me is I'm passionate and authentic. Yeah,

Erin: 31:38

we lose our way when we lose that piece of magic about us and, that shine so brightly with you and I'm happy. I'm happy to see it.

none: 31:48

Thanks.

Erin: 31:49

So you are available. Tell us what you are doing today because you're no longer an owner operator, right? So you're available to train. So talk to us about what it is that you do.

JoAnna: 32:06

So I go into communities and I either help them create their own dementia care program. and I help create it with them. Or I train on something like I'm working with a community in Michigan where I'm training a community on a dementia activity program that the community already had in place, but it's not being practiced since COVID because they had so many other things to worry about. So now I'm retraining the staff on their activity program with dementia. So I can either bring in my own trainings with the dementia one on one, and I can do that, and I can do it on Zoom, or I can do it in person, and I also have it online as an option to take. I can come in and really breathe life into the dementia program that they have and breathe life into the caregivers and, try to get that passion going again, get that knowledge going again, see those light bulb moments, help with retention, help with engagement. It makes a huge difference for sure. And people are seeing it. and I like to train, not just the caregivers, but I like to train, the housekeeping staff too and the maintenance staff too. And people that are interacting because they all make a difference.

Erin: 33:12

Everyone makes a difference. Every single person in that team inside of the community is absolutely

JoAnna: 33:19

treasured.

Erin: 33:19

And they're also starting speaking at

JoAnna: 33:21

some conferences,

Erin: 33:22

too. Yeah, absolutely. It's exciting. You are a dementia care expert, right?

JoAnna: 33:28

I definitely have the experience to be for sure. people ask me all the time, what makes you an expert? And I just say, I have the, I have 20 years of experience. I have it from a family's perspective, from a rec therapist perspective, from an owner operators perspective. And from someone that did hands on caregiving, too, aside from that. So it's I touch all the realms and I can help multiple people.

Erin: 33:53

There is no better perspective than on the job perspective. And then to be able to bring in every single job and be able to look at it from a certain way. You don't get a certificate for that. All you can do is prove that with content. Yeah, for sure. Which you're doing. So tell us how we can reach out to you. Give us all your handles.

JoAnna: 34:18

Yeah, so you can find me Joanna Dementia Expert on, TikTok and on Instagram and just my name Joanna LaFleur on Facebook. On YouTube it's under my Memory Lane Foundation and on my website which is mlfnd. org, you can find some of my videos and also other services that we provide as a foundation to people.

Erin: 34:40

She is a speaker. She is a social media influencer. She is a trainer. She has courses. Yeah, what am I missing? Is that it? Is that what you are today? Is

none: 34:51

that what you are today?

Erin: 34:54

And she used to be an owner operator and a recreational therapist inside long term care communities. So it's an amazing, mission and passion and vision that you have that you're implementing every day. Thank you for sharing your perspective with the world and continue doing it because you're working it girl. Thank you.

JoAnna: 35:16

and it's my passion. Obviously, you can see it from my face. it's something I love doing. yeah,

Erin: 35:21

absolutely. Thank you for being here today. I certainly appreciate having

JoAnna: 35:25

me.

Erin: 35:25

Yes, and to all of my listeners aspire for more for you.