Stop Living by Default and Start Living by Design with Jen Gomez

Stop Living by Default and Start Living by Design

In this episode of the Aspire for More with Erin podcast, we welcome Jen Gomez, founder and CEO of JG Consulting. Jen discusses her journey from a challenging upbringing to becoming a successful entrepreneur who empowers women to gain clarity on their future and self-worth. She shares insights into vision mapping, values-based recruiting, and the importance of self-connection. The conversation delves into overcoming personal limitations, setting boundaries, and the power of resilience and community. Jen emphasizes the significance of celebrating small victories and taking strategic steps towards one's dreams.

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guest

00:42 Jen Gomez's Journey to Self-Discovery

01:26 Empowering Women to Dream Big

02:22 The Power of Vulnerability

03:56 Understanding Choices and Overcoming Rejection

05:15 Connecting with Your True Self

12:57 Jen's Personal Story of Resilience

19:46 Finding Joy and Purpose

20:52 Values-Based Leadership and Career Growth

22:26 Dreaming Big: The Power of Vision

22:49 From Homeless to Working with the Governor

23:37 The Importance of Connection and Values

25:23 Overcoming Troubled Childhoods

26:33 Celebrating Small Wins

40:45 The Role of Boundaries and Time Management

42:14 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

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Transcript

Erin: 0:35

It is time for another episode of the Spire for more with Aaron podcast, where I have an amazing guest who's a little bit outside the senior living norm, but exactly what we need, inside the senior living industry. And her name is Jen Gomez and she is the founder and CEO of JG consulting. And here is why she fits in because she helps women. Gain clarity on their future and their worth Jen. Thank you for being here today.

Jen: 1:08

Erin, thank you so much for having me and letting me share my story and something I'm so passionate about with your community. I never thought I would get to this point where I was sharing my story and inspiring people to really go after their dreams, but after Starting to be honestly more understanding of who I was, what my, my background was and starting to align myself with all the different versions of myself, I started to realize how much other people enjoyed that and they were vocal about how much they needed. Others to be more aligned with themselves so they could be more aligned with themselves. So many of my clients have no idea how to dream about their future because they have never been asked that. And so I'm so excited to be here with you today to share some of the things that I do with some of my clients and in some of my workshops that have really led not only myself, but also the women that I've worked with to dream bigger. And actually run after those dreams because they understand what they can achieve once they really believe that they can.

Erin: 2:23

Okay. We could talk about this all day. yes, that's powerful and people need to hear that. And being vulnerable is hard. And I, am on that journey in a parallel way with you. and. The many different versions of myself needed to be aligned into one direction, and I didn't know that for a long time. And now I am on a mission to share all this. scary sides because of the feedback that I receive. So there is power in vulnerability, if you're willing to share appropriately and with the same intent to add value so other people can do it. Because that's the only reason why I became so Strong enough, we'll say, to share it because I benefited from somebody else's journey, which is exactly what you're doing, which is which is fabulous. And I think there's a lot of women, especially in healthcare, that do not know how to vision bigger for their life because they feel, stuck and pulled in a thousand different directions. and don't know how to put their vision first. So this is going to be a great episode. For them. So thank you.

Jen: 3:46

Interesting about that. I heard something the other day about people that are frustrated. It means that they actually have extremely high standards for themselves. Did you see that the other day too? No, but I know it's true. Okay, because if we weren't frustrated, and we were just coasting along in life, Then our standards would be pretty low, but if we're frustrated because we haven't gotten the job we wanted, or we haven't gotten the pay raise we wanted, or we aren't in the relationship that we want to be in, if we are frustrated about any of these things, it's because we have this high standard for ourselves. And so what is the most interesting thing that I ask everyone is, do you want to be frustrated forever? It's a choice. You have a choice to back off the wall of frustration and reroute yourself. And go do something creative, go do something that brings you joy. And so that's a lot about what we'll talk about today too.

Erin: 4:45

It is true. You do have a choice. Sometimes that choice is made for you. But, you do have a choice. And I think that's what people don't understand, that they don't have a choice, or that they do have a choice. They think that they don't, but you do. It's what holds you back is what you have to choose to let go of.

Jen: 5:06

Exactly. And then that's one of the most powerful things that I had to learn at a very young age was. What did I want? Not what did other people want of me, not what society wanted of me, not what my family or my friends or anyone. But what did I want? And we don't often ask ourselves that enough because we either think that it's too selfish or we start to negatively self talk. even though I want it, I'm never going to get it because or even though I want it. If I got it, then all of these things might happen negatively. We're always on the negative. So we never go for what we want. And so I'm encouraging to flip that on its head. what happens if we actually connected to what we want, And strategically created a life that surrounded that based on values, based on commitment, based on really. having this deep rooted connection with yourself, who you are, taking a really great look at where you've come from. I mentioned that my mentor is Brian and Gab Beauches, they have been a pivotal part of my life and my career. And they teach the purpose factor. So you really get to dive deep into what your purpose is. And they, help guide you through what your origin story is, like, where was the pivotal moment in your life where everything changed. And. I had, I honestly struggled with that because I was like, I have 15 origin stories. I have so many moments in my life that were pivotal. but the one thing that I really took away from that was they have all these different, if you're a trauma overcomer or a rejection overcomer. And so I realized I'm a rejection overcomer. And so everything that I've done in my life has been because I didn't want to be rejected. So we talk about splitting things on their heads, so you're either coming from a place where you don't want to be rejected, and that's where your action is coming from, right? Or, you're going into a situation where you're like, I might get rejected, I identify that I'm a rejection overcomer, and it's okay. And so now you have this coat of armor on you, knowing that you're this rejection overcomer and knowing that you can go past that. And it's okay if you get rejected because it's not part of where you're supposed to be. So this deep level of connection with yourself, connection with your story, and then connection with your vision. What do you want? Where do you want to go? What brings you the ultimate joy? what brings this insane amount of purpose into your soul, into your body? That's where we should live. We have one life. and I'm not suggesting anyone should, Do anything drastic, but I am encouraging people to really dive deep into themselves and take a moment to just breathe. We don't oftentimes just take a minute to stop. We're just pushing. It's we're pushing against that brick wall, right? Or we're again, angry, frustrated. Our team isn't connecting. We're, again, not getting the promotion we wanted, not getting the raise we wanted. Why not? Why not? Why is my life so crummy? Instead of just saying, I'm not going to allow it to be anymore. let me let me see what's going on here. Why am I frustrated? Why is my team not connecting with themselves? Is this because of me? Do I need to understand my communication style a little bit better? What is go? What is the root of the problem here? Because there is a root. Once we connect to ourselves. It makes us better connectors with our team, better connectors with our organizations, better connection connectors with our vision. that is where it all starts.

Erin: 9:06

we didn't plan any of that, and that's, my story. But, like, all of that, and I would say resentments is that frustration. it's the energy of allowing resentments to rule your life. And because I did want this and because I didn't want that, who was telling me no, it was me. I can't do this because of this, or I won't be able to take that role because of this, or, it was me. I put the self limiting boundaries on me because technically it's true, but it was due to a traveling job. Like I wanted growth, but I didn't necessarily get growth. Because the next step for me was to be on a plane every two weeks, or every week, and I can't do that. So, I just shut the door for me, and I resented that, and the resentments came out to other people. And, I did exactly what you said. I became aware of, what my story was, aware of the root cause, and then I realized, No, I may not be able to go to the next phase of that career, but I created something for myself that I said yes. And I made it work and there's joy in that. And then you really get to know, can I do this or can I not do this? Is it worth it? You don't know if it's worth it until you actually try it. one of the most empowering experiences of my life, because I said yes, and I made it work and I get to have. Other conversations and figure out what actually works and what doesn't, because I stopped saying no, I stopped telling myself. and

Jen: 10:54

what's so interesting about that is. The question, what do I say no to and what do I say yes to and that comes from having a good understanding about your vision. other exercise I do with my clients is we do 10 year vision mapping. Where do you envision yourself being and not just your surroundings, but who do you want to be in 10 years? What do you want to feel like? What does your 10 year version of you look like? what does she smile like? What are her facial expressions like? Nine times out of 10, actually 10 out of 10, they're not stressed. They're like, we paint this beautiful picture of this very calm, most likely retired. You're just, you're living this life of joy. And so then we say, okay, based on your current situation today and where you want to be, this is your vision. This is you. This is no one else's dreams. This is you. How do we get there? Based on where you are today and back that all the way down to the next three months.

Erin: 11:59

10

Jen: 12:00

year, five year, one year, nine months, three months, nine months, six months, three months. And we actually do results to get you to that 10 year vision. And so then if you're like, do I say yes to this? Do I say no to this? You can always go back to that. 10 year vision of yourself, put her at the head of her table. My incredible, I have another coach that I used to work with. Her name is Steph Ziv out of, Manhattan. And she taught me this technique and I, it has been a life changing technique for me and my clients because you have a physical shift in you. When you put this person This it's you, but it's like this wiser, calmer, more joyful version of yourself at the head of your imaginary table to make the choice for you. Should I take this to get me where I want to be in 10 years to be who I want to be in 10 years. And, but before the call, you had asked me, I had to share my story. I think that this is why. The exercise that stuff did with me, in the past year resonated so much with me because it was something that I was inadvertently doing at a very young age unintentionally. so I'll tell a very brief, Story about, about myself and how I grew up. my mom and dad met in the military. They were in the Navy. They divorced when I was two. My father kept on in the military. My mother, left and we lived together in California. I don't have much memory of living in California, but when I was 10, we moved to Austin. And I remember her not being home a lot. by the time I got into high school, I think I had gone to two elementary schools. Two middle schools and then three different high schools. So we moved a lot, in this town. I was bullied a lot. I, we were poor. I was always told oh, your shoes are smelly, or whatever, and then by the time I got to be a senior year, in high school. My mom, I found out that she had gone to rehab and so then it, it as now I'm older. I'm almost 40 and now I'm able to look back and say, that's why she wasn't home because she was at the bar or she was trying to find joy in ways that made her feel whole that, in very superficial ways to make herself feel whole. and now I'm being flooded with all these memories of getting phone calls, saying, your mom isn't going to make it home tonight. She's, she, we got her a hotel room. And, I think that, So many of us have these stories, whether we were the mom that was going through that, or we were the child to have something like that happen that I don't put blame on anyone. I think that we, again, go through this life and we try to do the best that we can and sometimes we get off course and, so I went at that point and lived with my dad. He lived in, in New York, but, by this point I was a senior in high school. My, my mom was never around, really didn't have much other family, in Texas. And so I just was finding my own superficial joy by being around people who were not the best, were not the best Influence on me. And so I was doing a lot of partying. I was good in school. I was skip school every once in a while, but doing just things that I my own story, of things that led to my journey in my life. So I went to go live with my dad. For about six months, and I remember one day, coming home to a room full of boxes and he said, you're leaving you. You do not live here anymore. And I said, I have nowhere to go. And he said, I don't care. you're leaving and so I went back to Texas and I had no 1. I had no 1. I had nowhere to live and, I am very grateful that very close to me. Coming back to, to Texas, my best friend at the time, she, she was like, stay in my old bedroom. And so her parents took me in. And for almost an entire year, I lived with them. And, it was one of the hardest times of my life because not only did I have, I eventually had my friend's parents who were there to support me. but I had to support myself financially. They just gave me a roof over my head, I had just turned 18 and, The real kicker was that I didn't graduate high school because Of the time that I had been sent back to Texas. So when I went to the Texas high school that I had gone to and showed them my credits and said, Hey, I just need a diploma. They said, you're missing a credit. You have to take your senior year over. So that's why I stayed with them for that year. I remember they helped me buy a 750 car. If like for 750, you're not getting much, you're getting a 10 can on wheels. Okay. And I remember it was a Subaru. It was a 1986. Okay. 1986 Subaru for 750. And I paid them back every single penny, but that is the year that changed my life. It changed my life because I said, no, one's out. Nobody's going to save you. This has been my biggest quote recently, because all of us are waiting to be saved. We're

Erin: 17:38

sitting

Jen: 17:39

here in our frustration. We're sitting here in our anger. We're sitting here in our resentment. We're sitting here in all these negative self talk, all this negative self talk. No one is going to save you. You have to save yourself. But how do you do it? How do you do it when you feel like you cannot get off the floor? I could have easily turn to all the wrong people at that point in my life. And I made a choice to not do that. I made a choice to say, I need to make something of my life. I remember my dad. He set up, when I had lived with him for that short stint, he set up a meeting with someone for me to join the Navy, and he, I will never forget, he was like, you're not going anywhere, this is your only choice. And so vividly, I remember calling from a payphone the recruiter and saying, I'm not, you're not going to pick me up today. I'm not going because I knew that I was meant for more. I knew that was not the right route and I'm not a runner. I'm not gonna go and go to your camp. I knew, and of course my dad's fuming at this point because he's been in the Navy for 30 years and he thinks that I'm not going anywhere. And so I, I'm sure that's what drove him to kick me out. But, But I knew that was not the direction. It's not what I wanted, right? Because I had such this deep connection with what I wanted and what I knew was right. And so during that year that I was reinventing my life on my own, I had a teacher that, She really believed in me and to this day we're still connected. Helen Myers, she was my choir teacher. And she said, I have a school out in Louisiana that I'm connected with. Why don't we, Why don't I take you out there? You could go audition because I was, I loved theater. I loved theater. I loved singing. I, since I was probably in third grade was on a stage of some sort, that was my escape, right? I wanted to be part of this vibrant world. I remember watching old time movies with these people that just had these beautiful lives. They were so happy and so full of joy, like full circle. Now I'm a keynote speaker who talks about bringing more joy into your life. have you ever heard the phrase? It's like, whenever you're looking for more joy in your life, think about what brought you joy as a child.

Erin: 20:19

Yes.

Jen: 20:20

Or when you're you feel like you've lost your way when you feel like you need more purpose in your life. What brought you joy as a little kid?

Erin: 20:27

Yes.

Jen: 20:28

If it was coloring, if it was digging in dirt, if no matter what it was, go back to that because that childlike joy. Isn't anything we will ever experience. ended up going to college, getting a full ride to go to Northwestern State University. And that's when I knew that when we craft our life, we commit to it. We have these certain values about ourselves and we value ourselves. Anything is possible. And so from there, I actually, Met my now husband, and we moved out to L. A. for a number of years. I didn't know anybody in Los Angeles ended up, working at this restaurant as a events manager. But what's really interesting Aaron is that as soon as I started working there, I was put into a managerial position almost immediately. And so this goes back into something else that I talk about in my workshops, which is. Values based recruiting and values based promoting and values based influence within your team. Have you ever met somebody and they're just They have, they may not have the skill sets on paper, but you can tell that they're responsible. They're quick learning. They have these values that are different than the person that may have skills on paper. Right and so I have these had these values within myself that I had built because of the resilience of going through what I went through that. I ended up climbing the ladder very quickly. And I think probably some of that childhood trauma that I don't want to be. Like my parents, you don't want to be, probably need to be a little bit more driven to, but I just had this immense level of respect for myself and what I was capable of doing. And I knew that I wanted to be at the top, no matter what I was doing. I wanted to drive myself to the top. And so we ended up moving back to Louisiana about, 10 years ago. And I remember, when I first moved here to Baton Rouge from L. A., I was like, this is a small town and I started to contemplate. I'm like, what can I accomplish here? could I be a big fish in a small pond? Now, what am I doing here? I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming this insane dream, this 10x, like anything is possible. We don't do that. Nobody does that. Nobody says, what is possible for me here? This rose colored glasses way of looking at life, right? Even within an office, right? What could we accomplish? As a team together, and so I started strategically taking meetings with people that were running the city and ended up on a couple boards. And within 5 years, I was, I went from, running events at L. S. U. in their career center to working with the governor of Louisiana. based on referral. Because I had made the connections. I had the values. I was connected with myself. I had committed to my purpose and to knowing my worth. And not many people do that and are bold enough to say, this is what I want and go after it. It's okay. It's okay to want what we want. so you asked, how did you go from homeless to hanging out with John Baptiste? John Baptiste. I got there through connection, through deep right rooted values and through commitment to myself, to my worth and to my dreams. John Baptiste, I was lucky enough to work with. we had a foundation that the governor and his wife were running and he came in to, help us with a benefit concert. and he is just an incredible individual. We still keep in touch and, I will never, when I first received the call to get that job, I nearly fell out of my chair because it wasn't me getting that job in that moment. It was me as a little girl who had fought to get to that point. And so if anyone takes anything away today, it's that if you fight for yourself, really anything is possible.

Erin: 24:46

It's true. you just laid it out for us all to see, I think first of all, I think it's really funny that your dad, the Navy guy wants to send you to the Navy. And then you go, I'm not a runner. I'm not going to your camp. that's just not going to happen. That's funny.

Jen: 25:05

it's so true. I was, I will say certain characteristics have probably helped me get where I am today too, because I have always been someone who just. walks to the beat of my own drum, right? I have always been very, the outlier of the group was, and I don't know where I've been doing some deeper connection with myself. Like, where does that come from? Does it come from not having a lot of strong Like family values put in me at a young age. So I was just this like wiry child, like figuring out my own life. I don't know. I really, that's my next little thing is like, how do we, how, like what happens in our childhood that makes us the people that we are today? But you see some of the most successful people. In business and otherwise they most of them come from having very troubled childhoods because they pushed themselves up to that point. But I was having a conversation with, with someone yesterday. And this was really interesting, he said, I was such a high performer because my dad was an alcoholic. He beat me. And I did it, I was a high performer so that I would be nothing like him and then he died and I stopped. I stopped performing the way that I had been before performing. I was doing it because I didn't want to be like him and now he was gone, which is very interesting as well. there is so much to unpack about how we are the way we are and why we are the way we are. And I think that having that curiosity, that's something that I talk a lot about too, in, in my coaching and in my workshops and my, in my speaking engagements is have the curiosity to see who you are, where you're going, how much Your worth and what you can accomplish. And the biggest part of all Aaron, that we do not do enough of is celebrate along the way.

Erin: 27:00

Yes.

Jen: 27:02

Wait along the way. How often are we like, I want to hit a million in sales this year. We get to the end of the year and we don't hit it and we just start self destroying. It's where were you throughout this whole year? Where, what did you grow? How did you grow? What did you accomplish? When we celebrate the small wins along the way, it makes it just so much greater of a life to live and a journey to be on.

Erin: 27:28

It's true. The, because we're talking about, addiction a little bit here, and I have my own story with family members who have struggled with that. And what I find fascinating is. Your dad did not enable a behavior, he shut the door and that doesn't feel good. But in the bigger picture, he forced you to become a better version of yourself. And I'm sure there was personal work involved in that. But as much as it hurt, it was a godsend, because what would have happened if he allowed? Different things. And in my, even from a leadership perspective and we can take it out of such a personal perspective, when we set the expectations, and then we actually do what we're supposed to, what we say we're going to do, that's how you see change in people instead of coddling and making excuses for them and stuff like that. And I'm not saying what your dad did was right. Any stretch. no, but it is those things like you're talking about those life changing moments that propels you to succeed.

Jen: 28:53

Absolutely. And it's so funny. You say that Aaron, because this goes back to celebrating along the way, all of that. I did not talk about any of it until probably seven years ago. Because I was so ashamed. Yeah. I was a different person. I have this positive influence within my community. I have a very loving family. I wasn't that person. And then I realized I would not be the person I am today if I didn't have all of that. And so you are so right. Had he not shut the door, I wouldn't have been able to create. I This resilience within myself to know that things could be worse. Things could be worse. just keep going. I think adaptability comes up a lot. the ability to pivot comes up a lot. Um, and I think all of that strength and confidence comes from having these situations in our life, being able to. Identify these situations in our life where we've had to be adaptable. We've had to pivot. We've had to be positive, not toxically positive, but we've had to push through in some kind of way. And then we can look back and celebrate those moments and say, man, I did get through that. I did get, I did do, I can, I really am human. I can go back to what I want to go after.

Erin: 30:20

Yeah. I think. No, 1 is coming to save you is very important because you're right. We think that people are and then we resent when they don't. And that, the only people that we can control is ourselves, our emotions, the way we think about things like, that's the only thing that we have control over and yet we give our power away our control away to people Because we're waiting for somebody. And for me, that was an excellent way to keep people out. I can take care of this myself, owning it, but then also wanting somebody to help me because this was getting too hard, but not knowing how, to get that help. It's a seeking that support, right? I needed it. I wanted it. I didn't want it. that kind of thing. It's like a catch 22, but what I realize is like, when you surrender control of what you can't control. Then all of a sudden people come into your life that can help guide you when you seek that support, And that's the important lesson that I learned. it's that, and I think your story exudes this beautifully. It's that energy. It's that law of attraction, the law of, magnetism, right? When you change. The energy and you say that this is what I want. And yes, that's 10 years down the road, but I'm open to creating it. Then guess what happens? I know in my life and obviously in your life too, magically people start appearing,

Jen: 32:07

That's right. and, we may or may not have talked about this before, but I've been reading 10 X is easier than two X. And it's this whole idea that once you have an idea of what you want, deeper connection with yourself, you have the vision, then you stop taking 20 percent out of your day to focus on it. And then 80 percent for everything else. And you shift it to be, you're going to focus on what you want, this vision you've created for 80 percent of your time, and then everything else in the 20%. And. The one thing that I can look back in my life, especially in the past 15 years of being a professional, is anytime I identified what I wanted, I surrounded myself with the people that either had it or that could teach me how to get it. So whether that was asking somebody out for coffee and hearing their story, understanding how they got to where they were. Or asking somebody to mentor me, which sometimes works, sometimes doesn't because people get busy. And so then I started paying for coaches. if I pay somebody, surely they'll show up and pour into me. so I have had a plethora of coaches in my career. Some of them were executive coaches. Some of them were life coaches. some of them I've gone through, coursework with them. some of them were accountability coaches. Every single one of them made me better, got me closer to where I was going. I learned so much. It's like a concentrated version of a mentor. it's like somebody who's giving you all of the key components to where you want to go. And I'm sure you're familiar with this saying, you are the average of the five people you're around the most. Yeah. So I started shifting my mentality to, coming from a very much place of scarcity as I was growing up. I am the quintessential. I will never amount to anything or any 1 candidate. and I choose to not believe that I choose to dream that I will have a multimillion dollar business consulting firm. 1 day. Am I anywhere near that? Absolutely not. But what am I going to do? I'm going to surround myself with multimillion dollar business owners. How am I going to do that by finding out where they are? Where are they normally with some sort of mastermind program where they are getting poured into and guess what else they're doing? They're establishing a community. And so I may be pinching my teeth. pennies trying to get into these rooms with these people. But now it shows that I am ready to receive that. I am ready to be part of this community. I am ready to put on that hat of let's just, let's run toward this. And there is a piece of strategic risk taking in that, right? going that. Big of a jump. And so that is definitely not for everybody, but I would encourage if anybody is listening and wanting to make a pivot in their life, start looking to some of the people in your community, some of the people in your network, some of the do a Google search for who might be doing what you're doing. But on a larger scale, if you're trying to do that, and just start talking to people, I often say you're The bigger your net work, the higher your net worth, right? Who is in your network? How can you tap into them? How can you fully take control of your life? We talk about living by design and not by default. Default is going through the motions. Default is waiting for somebody to save you. Default is being frustrated and angry and sad and, Getting in fights with people and not understanding your communication styles and being a roller coaster leader. You see it every single day. Back the reins, take a moment to breathe and figure out what you want. Why are you frustrated? Why are you unhappy? What can you do to fix it? And then surround yourself with those people that will help get you there because you're right. We are not going to, as much as no one will save you, we also are not going to get there on our own, but we have to put ourselves out there. We have to present ourselves in that, space just, and then utilize different people for different things. As we are also, reciprocating that as well and saying, Oh, this is what I'm really good at. And they'll say, Oh, this is what I'm really good at. And from there, you're building this. Community, reciprocity that then we'll get you referrals and then you can build your business up from there. So it really is fascinating when you start investing not only your time, but also your money and your energy, and you start flipping that 80 percent into what you want, that's when you really start to see. The change, not only with your business, but also within yourself, you become more confident. You're leaving more of a legacy. you're more just full of this life and energy, which again is magnetic, which again, leads to more abundance coming back into your life. So invest the time, invest the energy, invest the money, connect with yourself, have clear, a clear vision and clear values and commit to what you are worth. Because we don't do it enough.

Erin: 37:20

there you have it, folks. Mic drop! There it is. That goes for life, that goes for a community. Stop playing small and start playing big. And, to end it, this episode, which could literally go on for hours. the most, one of me as a person who played really small, who did invest in myself to with a coaching program, probably the biggest investment I've ever made in myself. And I was scared to do it. And then they started asking me about my future self and I rolled my eyes and I was like, please. I don't know. I don't know anything about my future. I'm just taking it a day at a time. You know what I mean? And, one of the best exercises that I could have done when I allowed myself to think about what is Aaron doing and what does Aaron want in a year? what do you want? And so I wrote a letter to myself as the future self to who I am today. And at that moment I was really struggling with fear and a lot of other different things of putting myself out there. And that letter Is so powerful to me. when I read it every once in a while. and it's even if you want to be, a regional director or a speaker or a, consulting firm, right? Or a community that's a hundred percent. What does that person do? That 10 X, that 20 X, that, you know, whatever. What does that person do? In order to have that success and then what would that person say to you today who's scared to do what needs to do to get that success, other people's opinions, scared of failing all these things, and, it was worth, I will say, even where I am today, I could not have imagined being there, being here a year ago. and I'm not even anywhere near where I want to be, the journey is still long, but because I can look back and say, look where I came from, it. is amazing because as proud of a woman as I was waiting for someone to help me. I was waiting for someone to say, you are very successful. You need to go to the next level. I was waiting for someone to say that to me. And no matter what I achieved. No one ever said that to me and, so now I say it to myself, every little small win. Look at you! You just got accepted to speak at this place! can we do it? You know what I mean? But look at you! You know what I mean? so it is a big deal. When you think about someone coming to help you, it's not potentially help, although it could be. But it is taking you to a place there where you want to be and you're giving your power away when you're waiting for that. And that is a waste of valuable time, especially when you can strategically design it, when you know what you want and you have been a prime example of that. You've got me fired up. Yeah.

Jen: 40:44

Aaron, What I'll say this last piece to is even when we have our vision and we have the momentum and we have the excitement, we have everybody around us, then what it comes down to as well is because sometimes when people hear, Oh my gosh, you want me to do 10 times I'm exhausted and burnt out already just watching you. From doing two times the work. Like I can't even bathe them. So then that blocks them again. And so what do I would encourage the listeners to do, and this is something I do in my coaching program is to set boundaries for yourself, understand the day that you want to live, how you want to feel in your day. And this is not just about working on your 10 year vision, but even with your just day to day tasks. How many meetings do you take in a day? If you have a full meeting day. Do you feel frustrated and burnt out by the end of the day? Maybe start taking less meetings on the same exact day. Fizzle them out throughout, like we do a lot on time management because we do not keep boundaries for ourselves enough. And so we've got all these things going on. We're like, Oh, I've got to do this 10 X life and I've got to focus on my dreams. But then I also have work and I'm a top VP here, but how can I, It all starts by establishing a daily routine and having an idea of boundaries within your day, setting themed days. So we go through all of that as well, because your 10 X life is possible, but what we don't want to have happen is for you to feel burnt out, start going into some of those negative thoughts, limiting belief thoughts, because it's overwhelming. So really understanding. How much can you get into that flow where you feel happy and joyful going through it, instead of feeling icky going through it?

Erin: 42:30

Yeah. And it all starts here in your mind. It all starts about the way you think so. Oh, thank you so much for today. it has been such a conversation that I value for myself. So thank you. I'll go back and listen to this a lot. So I appreciate it. but you can follow Jen on Instagram and what is your handle there?

Jen: 42:55

Yes, I would love for you to follow me on Instagram. It is Jen dot Gomez underscore. So J E N period G O M E Z underscore. I post there a lot. I am available there a lot. You can also find me on LinkedIn. and I do, Take one on one clarity calls that are completely complimentary for 30 minutes. So if you are someone who feels like they're blocked, who feels like they need a little bit more motivation to get outside of their comfort zone to truly start living your life by design, please reach out to me. You can either do Instagram, LinkedIn, or my email, which is Jen Gomez. J E N G O M E Z L C at gmail. com. All

Erin: 43:38

right. thank you for today. And, I hope anyone who listens feels motivated and not overwhelmed because it literally is just one step, one thought at a time. And, as always aspire for more for you.