Unlocking Significance inside Senior Living with Cheri Orcutt

In this episode of the 'Aspire for More with Erin' podcast, Erin sits down with Cheri Orcutt, founder of the Build Community and a seasoned dementia educator and leadership trainer coach. They discuss the essence of leadership in the senior living industry, emphasizing the importance of significance and empathy. Cheri shares her professional journey, stemming from her personal experiences with dementia, and her dedication to teaching others about valuing significance over success. Together, they discuss practical strategies for effective team management, the challenges of leadership promotions, and ensuring genuine care in dementia care settings. The episode underscores the need for clarity, kindness, and understanding both in personal and professional settings, with Cheri suggesting interactive empathy trainings to improve care environments. This podcast is a rich resource for leaders in senior living and healthcare professionals looking to enhance their approach to care and leadership.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:37 Defining Success and Significance
01:16 Career Transition to Senior Living
02:38 Passion for Dementia Care
03:47 Leadership and Team Dynamics
04:53 Personal and Professional Examples
07:35 Empathy in Dementia Care
11:49 Challenges in Senior Living
20:26 Leadership Training and Communication
25:07 The Importance of Acknowledgment and Communication
25:39 Accountability and Authentic Conversations
26:23 Breaking Down Leadership Barriers
27:13 Recognizing and Valuing Team Members
28:08 Self-Care and High Expectations in the Industry
31:12 Empathy Training and Understanding Dementia
35:50 Addressing Behavioral Communication
37:41 Leadership and Training Programs
41:28 The Power of Kindness and Leadership
45:00 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Transcript

Erin: 0:37

Welcome back to another episode of the aspire for more with Erin podcast where I have Cheri Orcutt with me and she is the founder of the build community where she is a dementia educator and a leadership trainer coach. welcome Cheri.

Cheri: 0:54

thank you. Thank you, Erin.

Erin: 0:56

It's Cheri with a CH, not Cheri with an SH.

Cheri: 1:01

yes, and I really don't care how you spell my name, but it is Cheri and you won't and you won't find me as easily if you misspell that. So good. Yes,

Erin: 1:11

that's true. Yes. We, you made a comment and I've heard this. Phrase before, but I think it's really important for us to start off with this because I think it's really powerful. I feel like it personifies you and it personifies me. success is not about or success is about me, but significance is about the people that we serve. And with you being a leadership and trainer, a leadership trainer coach, and a dementia educator, which is fascinating. I assume significance is really important to you. It absolutely is, Erin.

Cheri: 1:50

Yeah. And so I actually started, my, my career actually started in a county government position. And, I had all those great benefits that went with the government role in, in my county. Anyway, we had great vacation time. We had the eight to four hours. We had, all of that. But I didn't feel like I was making an impact. And again, it was me internally. Like I knew I made an impact in the office that I worked, but I felt like there was something more boiling with inside me and I always had the desire to serve the senior living population. So I switched into the senior living industry after 11 years with county government, because, why would you do that? we always have this message from, we have to play it safe. We want security. We want. Um, we, we want that, that security and that stable environment, but I heard enough people say time and time again, when I get old enough to do what I want to do, and when I can retire and I can do what I want to do. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, I don't want to wait that long. I want to get up every day and love what I'm doing. And I feel like. Not that every step of my journey has been easy, but it's really I've leaned into there's a population that I need to serve and a place that I've been equipped and prepared to help other people. And I just need to show up for that. So I worked in the senior living industry for a long time. and as. In that process, became very passionate about dementia and the memory care areas that I worked and the team atmosphere, just understanding the importance of having your team members really feel valued and know that, you know, we know you, we like you, we try, we can be trusted and, am I showing them that I care? And, first and foremost, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care, right? you can't pour it all on them with that type of information and not really genuinely care about them. And I've always cared about the people that I served, whether it was somebody living with dementia or somebody on our team. And again, that doesn't always look like we'd like it to think, I feel like I would try to set people up for great success, no matter what the scenario is, and I just think that it resonates, a lot between the two, it doesn't matter whether it's a team member or it's somebody living with dementia. People need to know that you care, can, do you care for me? Can I trust you? And can you help me? I just, and again, I've, that's something from the Maxwell team, being a member of the John Maxwell team. you hear John Maxwell say that a lot. Do you care for me? Can you help me? And can I trust you? And we as employees or as an employer, we need to know that is very. Very apparent to our team members quickly, if you don't follow through, can you be trusted? you said you were going to do this, but you didn't do it. and I think everything, rises and falls on our leadership. And if we're not sincere about that, and we don't make amends to something we've done wrong. And again, I can jump back to dementia. I, actually lived in or worked in the senior living world for, probably about 10 years. And then my parents, my dad actually died of Alzheimer's and my mom lived with Lewy body dementia. So we've had a lot of experience and it just opened up a lot of new awareness is for me to have a different perspective and really gain a lot of understanding. So anyway, I'm passionate about helping. Other people become more aware.

Erin: 5:28

yeah, I will give you 2 examples that corroborate that. You are correct. 1 of them a personal 1 of them professional. 1 of them can be leadership and 1 of them can be dementia related. But, on the professional standpoint, I have seen a few of my associates that used to work with me inside my community, my caregiving. team out about in public and the first thing that they say to me is no one cares for us anymore. No one cared the way that you cared about us. And, I did care a lot about my team and sometimes they appreciated it and sometimes they took advantage of it and sometimes they resented it, but when you're away, it's been 2, 2 years now. And they understand it. The significance is there because, they didn't know how good they had it for eight years. They didn't know until they knew. I think you get more out of people when they know you care and when they, even when they act, they don't appreciate it. They do. They really do. The personal example is my son, who many know is on the spectrum and I likened him to a very active resident in a dementia community. 1 of the 1 of the things that I've learned when he started school was, he will ask everybody, will you be my friend? Will you be my best friend? Will you be my friend? If they don't, if somebody doesn't say yes, or he doesn't feel like you accept him or like him, you're gonna get some really bad behaviors, he's gonna be anxious. He's not gonna do the things that you want him to do. I tell his teachers now you need to tell him proactively that you love him. I don't care if you love him or not. I want you to like him, but you need to say to him, will you be my friend? And I want you to know that I love you. You're still going to get anxious behaviors, but what you're going to get is a comfort level. That's very important. And it's very much do you care for me? Can I trust you? Can you help me because he will come to you and ask for help. If he knows that he can, and I think that really ties into your dementia education because people feel, and that will generate whatever behaviors will come from the way they feel.

Cheri: 8:10

And I think, and I had a leader that would often, a great mentor of mine in one of the senior living worlds that I, had served for a long time, and she would always say what, Maya Angelou quote that, people will forget what you said, they'll forget what you did, but they will never forget what you did. Forget the way you made them feel. and I just can't help, but think of the importance of that. that it gives me goosebumps to think about it because there was a time in the senior living world where I had to participate in a termination, we terminated an employee and the employee gave me a hug and said, I'm so sorry, I've disappointed you. And I said, this isn't about me. This isn't about me. like I wanted. So badly to help that person be successful and I had a responsibility to our residents. Like I, I will do what I can to help you get to work on time. I'll do what I can to help you become a better communicator. I will help you. All along the way, but I also have a responsibility to the residents. So you need to meet me. And that decision was hers to make again. That's very difficult, but she knew I cared. She knew she could trust me and she knew I was trying to help her. And I think about that from somebody living with dementia or much like when you talk about your son. somebody's very anxious and you just put me off and say, no, your husband's not coming, no, you can't go outside or whatever, I feel like you've dismissed me. I'm not important. and again, I'm full of anxiety here. Did you show you cared? Like, how can we make sure they know, you know what, I'm here for you. I'm gonna let you know that I will help you. I am going to help take care of you. And, you can trust me in this. Because I've shown up and when you, when I've met you before, when we've had interactions before, I've always followed through. And I think sometimes because somebody is living with dementia, we think that they'll forget, like we think that. Oh, I'll be back with your meds in 30 minutes. we like to think that, okay, somebody's got to be put on the back burner, so likely they aren't going to know whether it's 30 minutes or 45 minutes. And you may be right, but you also may be wrong. You may have made that a longer gap than they can handle and are you trustworthy, and I just think a simple way and I think of in the dementia education empathy is just so important and I think even as team members, understanding our employees and understanding, like, where they come from, I had this, an employee one time that, timeliness was terri extremely difficult. we all know that. But when I had the, how important that is, we understand that. But when I understood where this poor young girl of 19 years old was coming from and that her. mother, I mean her father wasn't in the picture, her mother was no longer, really taking care of her little brother and it was her responsibility to get him up and out of the house into daycare and make sure he got some breakfast and like she was really trying to get to work. she knew that I cared. Like I was really genuinely going to do what I could do to help you on the flip side, like I said, we also have that responsibility, but how much does, how much of that do we take with us? Like that person to this day, I know I, I ended her employment with that organization, but I know that I could still have an honest and sincere conversation with her. And she'd know I have her best interest in mind, I think that we just really need to. Understand and assume, I guess I shouldn't say that, but for everyone, it's a choice that everybody has to make. But I like to see the world as, I'm just thankful I have a glass. So it doesn't have to be half full, half empty. I'm just glad I have a glass because I think we have a whole new appreciation when we really understand where other people are coming from. it's, it just totally shifts our perspective. I just think about, just from the beginning, I just often think of a scenario, a situation where, you know, when my parents moved into a nursing home and the nursing home was great and the nursing home person, the person at the community. was a wonderful person and actually a friend. And, I remember walking through my mom and dad's home that day and they had no desire to go, they didn't want to go. And I had one of my siblings saying, it's not an option we're going. And, you're looking around the house that we lived together for 60, they lived in that house for 60 plus years. And, we all think about the great things that, That they're going to have the support. They're going to have the people around them that they need. They're going to have the physical assistance. They're going to have the medication assistance. They're going to have, they're going to have, good meals and all that's great. But what about the fact that I just walked out of the home that I lived in? All the only home I ever knew until I got married and I'll never see my kids play on that floor I'll never have a family dinner with my siblings around mom and dad's table. I'll never Have what I used to know as familiar and of course, there's the emotional Cheri coming out and that's okay because again It's just who I am, but I think Then going into that community and bumping into people that I previously worked with and loved. they're great people, like people are talking to me and carrying on normal conversations. And I'm like, do you realize I've just moved my parents out of their home? And they didn't say anything wrong, but I felt like I was hearing lip service, like I'm like, Again, every person is going to recognize how that feels differently. But to me, I felt like my world had just came crumbling down and I wanted my parents to move there. they needed it, but the reality that like, I also wanted the people to feel it with me. And again, they only know what they know. They did fine. But just stepping into that situation of acknowledging how difficult this can be, it's not all a party. It's not all exciting times. It's, it is. And I feel like my level of understanding and quality of service. Went from really good to a whole nother level, just because I had to put the shoe on the other foot. yeah,

Erin: 14:53

no, it's so true. When you have that personal experience, you become an advocate more than you become a leader and then your leadership turns into advocacy and I've had this similar, premonition, the similar life changing events just okay, Like when life completely. The life, you knew is gone in an instant and this brand new life that, nothing about is now present and how you need that support from people who get it is so critical and senior living can be that

Erin (2): 15:30

there

Erin: 15:30

are, there's a lot of people struggling. And you as a leader, that empathy is important that know, and trust. Can I help you? Do you see this? Um, to use your own. Experience to add to someone else's experience is important. Like I used to say all the time, feel it. It's important, because my own personal examples, like there, my, my son had a trach his first two years of life. And then when they put a trach in, I used my own experience, like where I gave people like the two weeks, like this was before we realized this was not the case, but Stay away respectfully for your own good a, because the resident may be angry. And if you can't, if you can't handle the rage that will come, then protect yourself until they're calm a little bit and call me 5 times a day. If you want that kind of thing. And so I knew that sometimes time away in grief and mourning allows you to come back at your best self, you know, and so I took that for my own. Saying I was just like, I'm gonna be gone for two days I've been here every day for the majority of the days since the day. He was born in the NICU and I'm gonna take this weekend because I need it. I couldn't I cannot take care of him like this. I cannot learn how to take care of him like this. I need me to fall apart. And then I will come back to you on Monday and I'll be ready to learn how to care for him. you have to be able to feel those moments, because if we suppress everything, or if we. We're all of a sudden we're going to get angry and we're going to be resentful and as leaders inside senior living, the more you can connect, the better the journey will be for everybody when you understand that emotional component And the other example, I used to say all the time to families, because I remember when I took, my children to daycare for the 1st time. that is a feeling that you will never forget when you just take these children to a daycare and leave them and then go to work. I remember feeling like my heart was shattered. There wasn't necessarily tears, it was just like, Do I just leave them here? And like the

Cheri: 18:06

trust that you put in those people. Yeah. And it's scary. And then imagine being that family walking away from your loved one. and it's interesting that you say, and again, I'm not negating what you're saying because I think it's everyone's perspective. But, the whole. give yourself two weeks. Don't, give them space and let them acclimate. And I would tell people get them, get their apartment set up, get their space set up and take them for a drive, because yeah, because take, give them an opportunity to come and go. They're not locked in here. It's not a space that they'll never be able to leave. And again, depending on the severity or the significance of their dementia, The reality of it is which one of us would want to be left again, putting the shoe on the other foot. If you were the resident, what does it feel like to be without the people that you feel the most safe and secure with now? They're no longer with you for 2 weeks.

Erin: 19:10

Yeah, so I, over the last few years, I didn't do that. I just said, give yourself a day 2 or 3, we don't have, but I will say. That, I have had people not get out of the car.

Cheri: 19:23

Yes. And again, every person is different. I think that's the thing for

Erin: 19:28

hours

Cheri: 19:29

for hours.

Erin: 19:30

Yeah,

Cheri: 19:31

and I think we do have to definitely remember that because every single individual is different. there's absolutely no question about that, but I think in generalization and our general population of apartments and assisted living. That was one of the first things I wanted them to do is take them out for lunch, call and tell them you're going to schedule a time to go here or there so that they felt the ability to come and go again in our memory care. That did not always happen because you just obviously couldn't, but

Erin: 20:04

we get there. you always get there. Some of it only takes 24 hours and some of it takes an entire 30 days, but you always get to the point where. You are taking your loved one out because that's the most important thing for sure. Going back to what you said about that, associate that you had to separate employment, but yet she still loved you. You know, I think it's a real, master class on that clear is kind, just a true understanding of. She knew that you cared. She must have known her boundaries. She must have known that she couldn't meet them. And in the end, you did what you told her you were going to do.

Cheri: 21:01

yes, and I think that so through some of the, in some of the leadership training that I do, we do, I do what I call learning circles, basically like a master class And one of them through the Maxwell program we have access to is undeniable laws of communication. One of them is everyone communicates, you connect. it's. Understanding, and I feel like the senior living world is so guilty of we have that really good CNA or resident assistant or whatever their role is. They're really good. So we level them up. we now make them a supervisor. do they really understand what they're doing? that means do they understand that when you're a role model, when you're the leader, what expectations come with that? What conversations like having a really difficult conversation sometimes, and then same thing with nurses, somebody might be a fantastic nurse. So let's make her the boss. Okay, you're really accountable. You're very good at showing up. You're really quality, and your skills, really good quality in your skills and you, you're kind and all of those things. And now you got to hold somebody accountable. Okay. That I think so often we think like it's me against Erin, right? It's me against you. Instead of looking at this, isn't about me. This isn't about Erin. This is about our common goal. Like, how do we move from here to let's do this together. Let's rise above let's rise together. How can we empower and lift each other? And I am just amazed at how many times people, get. Get a promotion and then it's just not a good place for them because it's a hard. it's hard. it's it. It is a skill that can be learned and I don't think we take time. And I think in nursing and again, every scenario is different. But in the area that I'm in, I think. At least a while ago, I think they only got one like supervisory course as an LPN or an RN. and again, when I went into a community, one of the things, like there were amazing, there are some amazing people there, but we have expectations that you have to follow and one of them is that you need to smile and greet me when we, when I say hello, I'm not being a bully. But I do expect just customer service looks like this. And again, maybe your customer service doesn't look like that in your community or whatever, and that's fine. But what your expectations are need to be extremely clear. And so now if you're the supervisor and you have that one person that gives you the cold shoulder all the time, how do you have the conversation with them? it doesn't have to be punitive, but What do the residents pick up from that? what, when you as a team can't get along and you're telling me one thing and they're telling me something else and I feel like you guys, there's just a lot of tension, we feel it, right? Going back to what you said before, we feel those things. I don't know, I just think that happens all too often. yeah,

Erin: 24:22

it does inside the community things move fast and I think hindsight, I get to look back at hindsight and I'm proud of all the work that I did and being consistent with things and, people knew. When I say this with my kids, but I didn't say this in the community, but I'll say it with you. And mean moms coming out, people knew when angry Erin was coming, Like, and then they love that. They could hear my heels to, come to the idea that I was coming, but with clear is kind. there are things that you can do in leadership with consistency, with being consistent on all the things. That will reduce anxiety and nervousness because they know it's coming, Erin's going to tell us about that or, and then if you don't, all of a sudden you realize anxiety is up because you forgot to talk about this one thing, right? and I think we struggle a lot inside the community when we don't communicate the small things, and then we're working with the big things like smiling. when somebody doesn't smile at me, I'm going to stop and be like, Hey, what's wrong with you? You all right? Good. Are we good? Or if I'm on my phone and I'm passing by somebody and I don't even acknowledge them. They're going to do the same thing to me and that's okay, because we have that and I'll be like, I am so sorry. I have got a million things on my mind. I did not see you. How are you today?

Cheri: 25:57

yes, and I think that really, and I don't remember what the quote is, but it's something to the effect. if your employees stop talking to you now, you have a real problem. if they're not communicating to you. And they've shut down. Here's your problem. And I think that we have to keep those. Like I expected my team members to keep me accountable as well. if I'm not upholding my end of the deal, you need to call me out on it. You need to ask the question, don't ask. everybody under the sun about or complain about it, ask me, like, why didn't you bring it to me? That, that's what I'm gonna, what I'm going to need to know is the only way it can be fixed is if we have this conversation and let's be authentic, right? and obviously that's not always easy. Those are hard conversations for people. And I would sometimes, I hated my office for that reason, because if anybody. got called to my office, they would tease me that it was the principal's office. And so then I would call him to my office just for, oh, I got you a candy bar or, hey, I wanted to share this story with you. And, because again, we're trying to break down those barriers. I'm no more important than anyone else in, in that community. And I think sometimes we have that pyramid leadership where I'm the top dog and you are the people who work for me. no, we all work for the residents. And I'm telling you if that resident needs, the restroom or the resident has an issue and they need help, I can tell you their most important person is not the director of the building. It's not the administrator. how can we help them recognize the importance of their value? So I just think that's really a key piece, is just helping them understand their significance.

Erin: 27:46

that's the secret. That's the secret that's the secret of a very synergistic. community is everybody understanding the value they have their role. The person has when they step in the door of the community. That is the secret. The question is, do I know. My value enough, and this is a Maxwell quote that really has stuck with me. he said in order to give value You have to add value to yourself and where we get stuck where I have got stuck Is I gave everything away. I gave everything away. I knew my value when I stepped inside that community. I gave it away I did not Consistently Add value back to me.

Cheri: 28:43

And unfortunately, I think that we, the expectations are always very high. And I think whether you're, a direct care worker, whether you're the nurse, whether you're the food service person, the expectations are high, the director of the building, we just keep needing more, wanting more customer service expectations. They're high. for having me. But the reality of it is we have to take care of ourselves. And I think, unfortunately, the industry, the expectations just keep, we keep dumping them on people. And I understand the needs are there, but what are we doing to make sure our people recognize how much, we truly care about them, the value we have. For them, in them, and are we helping them become better? And like I remember in one, one community that I worked, we had a couple of amazing, CNAs. And like their names, their faces, it all comes right back to me because we all know those, your go to people. Like they're never going to complain, they're happy to do it. And I remember saying, when are you going to become a nurse? And she said, never. She's I am doing what I was called to do. And I'm like, she's I would want no part of the headaches that those nurses have. Now, she not only recognized her value, she also knew the value of her nurse. She knew that the nurse had a whole nother level of headaches or challenges, whatever you want to call them, and she recognized that the nurse is good at handling them, but she didn't want to deal with that. She loved what she was doing. And I think, For all of us is like recognizing what was I created for, what, where am I significant? How can I make a difference? and yeah, I just, I can't reiterate that enough. It doesn't matter whether you work in senior living or you're a stay at home mom, or you're operating a bank. what were you created to do? And do you do it? Do you do it with grace? do you do it with the idea that you're going to have a significant impact in the world, making the world a better place? I think in a world that lives with so much dissension, what are we doing to help build the people around us? And yeah, anyway, I get off on my tangent. So

Erin: 31:08

that's a very important tangent to have. Yeah.

Cheri: 31:12

So

Erin: 31:12

listen with that and take away some pretty powerful things. So as a dementia educator. What do you see, what are patterns that you see that you feel like communities, you gave us some of them, right? see the pain that the families are feeling, acknowledge it. but what else do you see families? Patterns that leaders inside the community could take away from or that you see that. We could help

Cheri: 31:42

well, I think in and again, I being a previous director in buildings. I understand the, electronic training, we do, the dementia education, because we have had have to have X number of hours on an annual basis. If we're living in a memory care again, I understand that because we have to check the boxes. But. What kind of interactive training, are we truly training our people to gain understanding? I do an empathy training where I actually have them, I have some gloves that I put on them. I have goggles that I've actually painted them because, again, you can buy those things and they're expensive, but you can also do it at a very inexpensive, in a very inexpensive But they put on gloves, they put on these goggles, they have earplugs in, I have them get dressed, I have them, get pills out of a pill bottle, I have them follow instructions, write out a card, now some of their fingers might be even taped together, because they've had a stroke, whatever those things are. It's like people are like, Oh, my gosh, I never realized how hard and you gave us instructions and I didn't hear what you said. So I just followed everybody else in the room. Right and again, how often does that happen in our communities? And then I add in a whole bunch of noise, because I think 1 of the things that I like to do is talk about having a noise audit. what is happening in our space? We wonder why that individual is getting so upset. But all the while, If we understand what when we understand about dementia, like how hard it is for them to maybe process or focus their attention. And we have all these noises of 2 way radios, beeping, TVs, 3 on. We have somebody's radio on. We have. Hey, bring me some ketchup, whatever, scraping of plates. if you just pause to listen to all that madness, and again, it's things that you and I, we're used to it, and it's just part of our daily lives. But when you are trying to help somebody who struggles to focus, You're making their life hard. and again, is that intentional? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I think of, how often we want, maybe you have those exit seekers, you have that person that's looking for the door, they're ready to go home. And, we just want to block the door. Like we want to say, no, you can't go that way. No, you can't go that way. And I am still amazed at how many people just say that. No, you can't go that way. How about you come with me? I have something really cool to show you, and again, do I think they're all that easy to redirect? No, but I actually had somebody in a training that I was doing one day that just kept coming back at me and coming back at me and coming back at me. yeah, but she's just going to say she doesn't want to go. She's going to say she won't do it. She's going to say she, she's not interested. She's going to, she's going to tell me to go to heck. She's gonna, and everything I said, everything I suggested. She said that, and that employee was not interested in what I had to say. And I said, it sounds like it's a prison. And she said, sometimes it feels like it who's the prison guard. Who's the prison guard, because if that person so badly wants to go outside, is there a one door you can take them out and another door you can go in, and again, I know that it's not always that simple, but regardless of what I said. There was a barrier. So are we open to other people's ideas? Because even myself in the senior living world, there were those employees that you could always count on to come up with a new idea to try with that one really difficult resident, you always had to pull in, use your resources and identify new ideas. but we don't want people to feel like they're in a prison. Are we keeping them active? Are we keeping them engaged? Do they feel like we really care about them? if you really care about somebody, you're not going to make me sit in that chair all day long. And watch, come and go sit down. Not now later. He's not coming.

Erin: 35:57

I know. I was always liked when I came down the hall because I, from a resident standpoint, because you like them, you love them. You say, yeah, you want a Coke? Let me go get it for you. You know what I mean? Like, you just do it. Why? Why not, why keep egging it on? when you understand anxiety and what generates bad behaviors. You learn to work with it instead of against it because well, and I think that's

Cheri: 36:25

the yeah, I think that's really the key is we want to call it behaviors. what are they doing? That behavior is communicating something and I think we can quickly go through. Do they have to use the restroom? Are they hungry? Are they hot? Are they cold? Okay. That's communicating something. I remember working with someone that, needed, that had incontinence issues. I could tell, as a caregiver, are we paying attention to the signs, those behaviors, whether it's the way they're shuffling the feet, it's the grimace on their face, it's the, the tapping of the fingers, there are signs that we can pick up on, but we got to pay attention. and again, this is for somebody, working with lots of families in their homes. Sometimes that is an example. What are the signs that we can pick up on before it escalates? Because they can't communicate it. They can't communicate what they want, but there's something changing there. And, When I went into the community to help this individual, every door that we tried, we went to three bathrooms and they were all locked. Because apparently this individual had peed in the corner at some point, so then they didn't want the mess. Okay, so which mess do you prefer? And again, the person needed a higher level of care. I get that. I understand. However, like in the meantime, what are we doing to make this person's life easier or better? So,

Erin: 37:48

so good. Okay. Tell us how we can work with you. What you do, you like, you, you have leadership, groups and cohorts, you teach dementia education. tell us

Cheri: 38:01

I enjoy, I like to go into communities, I like to train, I enjoy training team members, we'll do dementia education, I have anywhere from a 2 hour to 8 hour training sessions that everything from the Dementia 101. What is it? We talk about behavior. We talk about forms of communication. We talk about environment. We talk about activities. We talk about, we do the empathy training, so that is something that we do. I also, and the leadership end of things I do, I have the learning circles, which is something that can be done via zoom or, in my area. I'm in Iowa. We do some in person, and some combo classes, so I have people from different states that participate, and those are a lot of times around the Maxwell program, the 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, the Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, those are some key ones that I've done, in the leadership world, in the senior living, Leadership landscape. I have a series that I've created. It's just called the elevate experience. And so it's, empowering the individuals, going through are we intentional? Are we aware of what our responsibilities are? Do we reflect on what situation? What just happened here? What could I do different? I can't change Erin. Erin can't change Cheri. But based on what just happened, what, how could I have presented myself differently? How could I have interacted in a different manner? we're talking about valuing everyone, just helping people understand, because if we don't ever pause to talk about some of these things, and these are things that, I've learned a lot since I've been out of my role as a director, but We don't, a leader goes the way, knows the way, and shows the way. what are we doing to give people an opportunity to live from, learn from my mistakes? I can tell you the resident that was so disgruntled and did not want to live in our community, and she's pounding her walker on the floor at me. She did not like me at all. We became pretty, pretty good friends throughout her stay. But at one point, I'm like, oh, I love your shirt. And I really did love her shirt. And it had all sorts of bling on it. I really didn't know her well enough at that point to, to come to her. I was genuine. And when I said it and she's Oh, aren't you condescending? And I was like, Oh yeah. That was probably not the right thing to say. like how can we, but yet this big burly man that was one of our caregivers, he was six foot plus and. And she loved him because he just said, I have a chair for you and you just sit down and have some lunch with us. We've been waiting for you. like I was trying to sugar coat things, make it all good. And by gosh, he had made her supper and she thought that was the sweetest thing ever. you got to figure out like, Know your people, know who you're working with. And so again, I think just having some of these tools that I've learned through the Maxwell program, and obviously just experienced partners like you, Erin, it's amazing to me when you have the tools and the resources, how you can easily equip your team members, everything that I do, and I think that's something that I love about the Maxwell program. Is John Maxwell wants it to be very replicatable. You don't have to pay me 10 times over to come in and help you. Let me help you do this. Let me help you. are you going to do it to the degree I do it? Are you going to know everything I know? No, but you have another set of skills that I'm sure you could, apply to the situation and make it even more powerful. So I just, I like to partner with people and then I do one to one coaching. So people that are looking for, just, I, there's lots of hurdles in front of us, whether it's families or it's a business professional, like we all have hurdles, but recognizing those hurdles sometimes is hard. And then recognizing ways to get over them is really. It's really key. So helping people find that resolution.

Erin: 42:07

Yeah, I think coaching and education and all the things that you offer and that, we offer together, but separately it's clarity. And you don't know how important it is until you have it.

Cheri: 42:21

and that's what

Erin: 42:21

awareness is. It's a clarity.

Cheri: 42:23

yeah, we don't if we put somebody in a role and yes, we have a job description, but what does that mean in that scenario? Like, how can I apply that? And, I just have to say this, Erin, because, we talked about, you keep saying clarity is kind and I completely agree. And I was talking to someone just the other day that I knew I have worked with in the senior living industry. just knew this person, and I knew that she was in a new role and she's extremely happy in this role. And I said, Oh my gosh, I love it. I'm so happy for you. what's different? And she's they're kind. I'm like, they're kind, that makes all the difference, and she's yes, they really care about me She you know She has a child with special needs or whatever I don't actually know the whole story, but she's and they understand that I need to be with him and they're just kind and I'm like she said yeah, it's not like working with the mean girls oh, and these are people that are grown adults. why do we let this happen? It's because, to me, everything rises and falls on leadership. So if your top dog allows that, that's gonna be pushed down all through your channels. And for this person to say, I love it there. I don't know where this has been my whole life, I just was like, Oh, and I immediately thought of you, Erin, because I think that is how you operate. I just think what you're doing is an amazing thing and definitely appreciate you. And I think, I know you're a coach, I'm a coach and I feel no competition, like there is no reason that we can't, I, If I can serve you in some way, why wouldn't I do that? Likewise, I hope you'll do the same. We can rise together if we really want to meet with significance.

Erin: 44:20

Like, when we work in abundance, the world opens up and that's what, we all used to always be like, oh, there's not enough, that's what we're trained for in assisted living, but we're in senior living. But, the world is opening up. And when you work in a mindset of abundance, what's mine will be mine. I will be where I'm supposed to be when I'm supposed to be there. I want to surround my people, myself with people like you who work out of abundance and to be significant. Because we can be significant together,

Cheri: 44:52

and I think that's a beautiful thing because when I worked in the assisted living world, I want it. I encouraged people go tour those other buildings go tour those other communities if they meet your needs better than we can. Go there. And I think my higher powers probably would have cringed, but the reality of it is I'm really good at what I do. And my team is excellent. I know that I'm confident in what we have. And if this isn't it for them, then let them find where they are happy. And we operated pretty full almost all the time. And again, sometimes it's just that idea that we're not yeah. Not clinging, right? We're not trying so hard to cling. So anyway, but yeah, it's very great to work with you and yeah, they can reach it, anyone can reach out to me. I have, my email is grow at the build community. com and I, my website's up and going as of now. I think it's, I was just, it was just getting finished. So I think it is up and rolling and excited to, to move up to the. Next level in my journey,

Erin: 46:02

Thank you so much. This was an excellent. I loved every minute of it. We could talk for a whole another hour. We can't thank you. And as always, for my listeners aspire for more for you. Oh, and share this with 1 other person because this is an excellent episode that needs to be shared. If you enjoy it, refer it to somebody else. Have a good day.