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Transcript

1:06

Hi, everyone. We are back for another brand new episode of the Aspire for More with Erin podcast. It has been a minute, and I'm so excited to be back and to be here with you. And today we're gonna talk about something that I find to be very important, and it is that leadership is an energy game It is your paycheck. Your energy is your paycheck. If you don't understand that and you're giving it away to everybody, then you're going to have problems, and we're gonna help you become more aware of that, take ownership of that, and be accountable for your own energy. Because one of the biggest energy drains that we have as humans, as spouses, as parents, is that when we're expecting people to give us something they never agreed to or they may not even be capable of. That is what this episode is about. You're frustrated, and they're fine. And I'm gonna talk to you about overcoming this pattern in our life and how it manifested and showed up in mine, and what I did to be able to turn it around. So stick with me, because this is going to be the next 30 minutes that could possibly change your life the way that it did mine. So we're gonna start here and understand one simple sentence. One simple sentence, which is your energy is your paycheck. You have to start treating it like it is Some of us are spending like we have an unlimited bank account, right? I mean, that's what we do. We just constantly give and give and give. We don't refuel. We don't fuel up. We just give because that is what our home, our emotional home is. That is what we feel like is, is required of us as a leader or a manager. Some of us are spending it on the employee who called out again. You're trying to change them. You're trying to convince them. You're trying to get them to understand that coming to work is important, and will they ever get it? Is a question I will ask you. Some of us are spending all of our energy on replaying the conversation that we had yesterday, trying not to accept what is in front of us. I think some of the biggest energy that we waste is coming to terms with accepting what cannot be changed. I know someone right now that I'm helping work through all this angst. They can't sleep. They can't function properly, and it's because they can't accept the terms of what this big change is going to cost them when just accepting it will bring peace. So sometimes people can't change, or sometimes the change has to happen and you never wanted it to, but it has to. That's what kind of energy, what amount of energy are we wasting on trying to get things to change or stay the same. Some of us are wondering why nobody is noticing the effort that we are putting in, why no one is noticing the 100% occupancy or the 15 move-in month that we had, or all these things that matter that we thought was going to give us something, but it doesn't, right? And some of us spend it thinking After everything I've done for them, they're still not coming to work, or after all the hours that I've worked, they're still asking me for this, or after everything that I have fixed, they're still breaking something. I'm tired of fixing it, right? After everything I've sacrificed, you know, you would think that at the very least they would be satisfied or happy with what I've just been able to accomplish. And whatever it is that you are wasting energy on thinking, harboring resentment, uh, being disappointed, whatever that is, those thoughts, that energy that it's creating inside of you is costing you more than you even realize. That negative energy is costing you more than the actual work that you have to do. And I feel like that's important for us to realize that a lot of our jobs as leaders is managing the energy. Our energy has to be higher and more positive than the most negative person in the room. And if we're expecting people to see, to change, to notice, to acknowledge certain things and they don't, then that level of negative energy is what's costing us more than we want to give. And I don't think people realize that that is where the burnout happens. That is where the frustration happens. That's where the capacity decreases because it's resentment. And I know this, and I could speak to this because I lived there, and I had no idea what resentment was. I didn't realize how much resentment I was carrying until I finally understood that much of my resentment wasn't being created by what other people were doing. It was be- being created by what I was expecting them to do and what they weren't doing. And so today we're gonna talk about one of the most expensive things that a leader can carry that never, ever, ever shows up in reports that we give or, or conversations that we have, and that's resentment. And that's why I think one hundred percent occupancy is the biggest lie because we're told that we're gonna get like, "It's the top of the mountain," and there's all these things, but it doesn't get you anything but a community full of wonderful people and a lot more problems to solve. It does give you a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. But if you're expecting something more from one hundred percent occupancy, you gotta be honest and become aware of what that is. Because I was like expecting flowers from a corporate office when we went from sixty-seven percent to a hundred percent, after COVID, and that didn't happen. I got nothing And I carried a lot of resentment on that because that growth from 67% to 100% in one year and one month, in 13 months, nearly killed me. I was exhausted. I was so happy. I was so proud, and I wanted that attention And I didn't get it. And that was like the beginning of the negative slide or the faster of going down the slide of the ending of the relationship that I had with that company, and it was my own expectations. And I wanna give you the shift for me that changed how I think about leadership, generosity, loyalty, and growth. Because I would do things much differently today, and I do do things much differently today than I did then. And I don't expect things of people. I just expect my energy to return to me in unique and powerful ways. So we're gonna go over that. I promise you, it's worth sticking around for. Okay, so in one day of senior living, let's talk about how one day of senior living can bring so much Emotional turmoil, Someone moves in, someone goes to the hospital, someone comes back, someone goes on hospice, someone passes away, a family is scared, a family is crying, a resident is upset because soup is too cold. They don't want chicken again on the menu. A vendor's coming in and trying to talk to you about a new product that they're adding that they think that you would benefit from. The fire alarm system has to be checked. The hood has to be cleaned. Whatever it is, you name it, that is all in a day. And obviously, the employee calls out, maybe it's the seventh flat tire in a week, and you are just like, "Oh my God." Everybody needs something from you. And if you're not careful, you may not have anything to give because you cannot give what you do not have. And you're gonna be so frustrated by all these things, but all these things are to be expected inside of a community. And this is when you realize that leadership requires emotional energy. Decision-making requires energy. Patience requires energy. Curiosity requires energy and patience, right? Hard conversations require energy. Coaching requires energy. Your presence, having to be more positive and, and more visible than the negative energy in the room. Your positive energy has to be higher and more pronounced. That requires awareness and energy. So if I'm spending half of my emotional energy, half of my emotional paycheck of energy being angry that people, uh, aren't behaving the way that I think they should Or being frustrated because I have to pull the extra load or, um, go in and handle something that somebody didn't do. Like, how much energy are you gonna have left? Are you gonna be able to lead those meetings that require you to be a positive, hopeful presence in the room? And what happens is that when you don't have that energy, you're gonna be expecting somebody else to step in and have that energy. But if they're not paying attention to the energy game, they're not gonna have anything left to give too, because we already know that these days happen inside senior living, right? So the question isn't only what is taking my time or who is taking my time, right? Where's all my time going? How much energy am I putting into things that don't even move the needle, things that aren't gonna make me feel successful? There's a question that is more important than where's my time going. A much more important question for you to ask is what is taking my energy? What is taking my energy? Where is my frustration? Where Is my heart beating faster? My blood starting to boil? My thoughts are going angry when my face tells it all. Like, what are those things? What are those triggers? Because that is where we want to focus. I was working incredibly hard as an executive director inside of a community, right? Growing that occupancy again from twenty twenty-one to twenty twenty-two. Obviously, after COVID, we dipped down to sixty-seven percent occupancy. I was telling myself, "If I don't get out of the 60 percentile and into the 80s and the 90s, I'm gonna get fired. They're gonna fire me." You know, all these things, like all these stories I was telling myself was causing me to work in fear, causing me to run from negative consequences that, let me just say, nobody said that to me. It wasn't even a realm of possibility of concern or a conversation from anybody because everybody was recovering from COVID. But I, of course, saw myself as 100% leader. My occupancies do not stay in this percentile, and there was nothing that was going to make us stay in that, and I was gonna work hard because if I don't, they will fire me. Those thoughts were thoughts I told myself. That was a story I told myself. So I went on an obsessive focus of growing our occupancy, which is fine, except for it wasn't because I only thought of myself as 100% leader, and that we were so good as a team, and that we had such an amazing product to offer that people should and, and wanted to move in. It was because if I didn't, I was going to fail and get fired. Two different stories. One served me, one didn't, right? So I'm working on the occupancy, I'm working on, you know, all of our reports and telling the stories, the right stories to the right people. I was trying to make everybody happy. And somewhere along the way, I created an agreement, expectations, a story that nobody else knew existed. It was like this invisible agreement. If I worked this hard, somebody should notice because we're coming off this national disaster, which was COVID. So if I can create this amazing turnaround, somebody's gonna notice me, and I'm gonna be able to get promoted. Or if I create these results, somebody will say she deserves a promotion. Now, I never asked for a promotion. I never let anybody know that's what I wanted. But I created this invisible delusion, if you wanna say, that this would happen to me, that if I sacrifice this much, somebody would appreciate me. Somebody would give me the refreshment of appreciation that I needed at the time. Somebody would bring me flowers. Somebody would call me out on a call. Somebody would simply say, "Erin, you are doing an excellent job. We see you. Keep it up." And when those things didn't happen, or when I felt even worse, when I felt like they were canned sentences with no emotion behind it, I didn't just feel, like, disappointed. It was much deeper than that. I was becoming resentful. And the truth is, I had already been resentful, but it was becoming deeper because I was... I had less energy than I did years before, right? And because the sacrifice and the effort from the year before, which was COVID, was so great that the expectation that I had was so great. But no one else knew that but me, right? That's what resentment does. It's often the bill, right? It's often the cost, the price for an agreement that the other person or the company that you're working for never knew they made with you. Sometimes I tell people If you aren't communicating what you expect from other people and they don't do it, then they don't understand the hill that they're climbing to even connect with you That's important because if I have expectations that I don't communicate and I'm frustrated with them, then when they walk into a room, they're feeling an energy that they have no idea where it's coming from, and they would never assume it was for them because they don't know what you know. They don't know what you're thinking. And so, you know, this happens obviously to companies, you know, from an associate up to an, a corporate office, but it also happens in your relationship with your spouse, the relationship with your kids, um, the relationships with your parents, like whatever it is These uncommunicated expectations turn into resentment and negative energy. and based on my experience of coaching people and within the 100% Leader program, like a lot of people are struggling with this, and I'm here to tell you it is burnout, frustration, and people leaving probably have more to do with unmanaged expectations and resentment more than the actual work. Because we expect other people to be better, to do better than they really know how Or we're expecting them to react in ways that we want them to react, and they don't know that, and they don't know how to do that. And And that is what I feel like when we become aware this is happening, then we can change it for ourselves because the truth is we can't change other people, But you can become aware of your own expectations, your own negative energy, your own wants, needs, and desires, and figure out how to get them met Because the really frustrating part about this is that while you're home or at work and you're angry about the expectation that was not met and disappointed by the comments that you did not get, about the appreciation that you did not get, about the level of sacrifice that's not being honored, the people that you're mad at may be completely unaware that there was even an expectation. And whose fault is that? It's yours. It's your fault. it's not theirs, it's yours because you're expecting something from somebody that they have no idea about or maybe that they can't even do. I wanna, I really wanna double down on this point for you because I was recently speaking, at a corporate retreat for a senior living company, and it was their directors of nursing, their executive directors, and their sales directors. And let me tell you, I was so honored to be there. And my topic was that trust is the currency, and this is the root of what a hundred percent leadership is because everything that my business is built on is the fact that one hundred percent occupancy is the biggest lie we've ever been told. But a hundred percent leadership, that is where significance lies. And so I was sharing my thoughts about resentment and negative energy and how that gets in the way of really living a life that you want to live, and we have a tendency to blame that on the circumstances that are inside of our community and our industry. But ultimately, these are things that we can control. So I was sharing this story and was on the stage for like three hours in this workshop, and afterwards a woman came up to me and she explained to me, she said, "I didn't realize that I had a bunch of resentment." She's like, "When you were talking about that, you really called that out and I realized something about me." And this is a really important point I really, really truly want you to focus in on. She said, "I have been helping people fill out forms, do things that they can't do, um, you know, apply for grants or apply for benefits or certain things." And like th- this leader was putting in the time, the effort, and the energy for frontline associates to help them, to grow them, to invest in them. But she was not seeing the return on investment because those frontline associates still called off, still didn't show up when they were supposed to, or potentially quit. And she found herself getting frustrated, getting angry, and not wanting to do those things that are kind and helping other people who cannot, will not help themselves. And she said, I told myself that I was doing these things without expecting thing, anything in return." But she said, "I think I am actually expecting something in return, and it's not happening, and I'm frustrated." She was expecting loyalty. She was expecting growth. She was expecting somebody to see the effort and to reciprocate that effort back. And because it wasn't happening, she was getting angry, she was getting frustrated, and she was getting resentful. And she thought to herself, and she said out loud to me that, "I was thinking maybe I should stop doing all of this." All of the kind things that made her feel good and asked her, "Does it make you feel good to help people like this?" And she said, "Yes." "So do you actually want to stop? Do you actually want to stop doing the things that make you feel good?" And the answer is no Do you wanna stop being disappointed? The answer was yes. Those aren't the same thing. Doing things to make you- yourself feel good, getting those dopamine hits, doing those kind things to better another individual, like, that is a good, positive energy to put out into the world. And you don't wanna stop doing that because you get a benefit for that. You get the benefit for that. You did something great for somebody. Somebody's gonna get something because you helped them. But you do wanna stop feeling disappointed that that person, those people that you do those things for, do not reciprocate the same value, okay? And this, this is where the expectation management becomes energy management because we're expecting something that people don't even know that we're expecting. So how do we turn this around? How do we continue to do the kind things, continue to feel good about ourselves, continue to do the things that you wanna do, and yet not feel the sting of disappointment, bitterness, frustration, and resentment? And so this is what I said to her, and how I changed my life after I understood what resentments were and what they were doing to me. I stopped requiring the person that I gave my time, my energy, and my expertise to to pay me back. I realized the kind things that I was doing was not a transaction. It wasn't. I was doing them because I wanted to do them, because I wanted to feel successful, because I wanted 100% community, right? Not for them to glorify me. It was because that's what I defined success was I stopped thinking I did this for you, so now you owe me 12 shifts without a call off, right? Or at least work here for six months. Okay? I started realizing that I started doing things because they were aligned to me, because this is what I wanna do, because I wanna feel the way I feel when I, when I give that kind of effort. If I wanna celebrate people, I'm gonna celebrate people. If I wanna encourage people, I'm gonna encourage them. If I want generosity to be what I'm known for, then I'm going to be generous, right? And I'm not going to attach an invoice for loyalty and commitment to them. which is expectation for it to be reciprocated back to me, will become an invoice, an expectation that will eventually become a resentment because somebody else is not capable of being generous. So that awareness became very evident to me, and I had to really figure out, like, how do I change this? If I want to continue to do those things because I love it, then how do I change how I feel about what I want from other people? And this is it. This is what, this is what radically changed my life. And while I will go and start spreading seeds everywhere I can of encouragement and generosity and leadership and values because I know that what I sow, I will reap But I will reap it in places I do not expect. I began trusting that the effort that I put out into the world could come back to me, that will come back to me in ways that I cannot predict. So it's not gonna be from that associate, it's not gonna be from that company, it may not be from that boss, it may not be from my own relationship, but it can be a referral, a future opportunity, a lesson that I needed to learn, a reputation, a skill that I can take with me wherever I go because I'm learning how to do it for somebody else, a door that will eventually open that I never even knew I wanted to be open And sometimes the biggest return on that investment is just becoming the kind of person that you're proud to be It literally takes the pressure off of expecting the person in front of you to return the favor and literally living your life expecting to receive the benefits of the energy and the values that you put out into the world. Because you will reap what you sow. The world, the universe, God, he will give you what is meant to be yours at the time it is meant to be yours. You have to be ready. You have to be that person ready to see and receive the blessings that you have earned. And the other thought was that I kind of have come up with in understanding, especially when the blessings don't start coming immediately, like all the work that you put out, and you don't see the return on investment. I tell people all the time, and myself, that seeds do not grow in seconds. They grow in seasons. So if I'm gonna reap what I sow, I'm going to throw seeds out all the time. I'm going to encourage people and invest in people and value people because that is who I am, and I know that everything that I do is a seed that I'm planting. And when I need it most, I will reap the benefit of that. I trust that. And even when life isn't going the way that I want it to, I know that the work that I've done, the people, the good deeds that I've done, the blessings that I bless people with, they will come to me when I need it most. And I trust that, and I believe in that, and it has changed everything about what I do from the inside out. And so when the big blessings in life come to me, I will be ready to hold them, and I will have my hands available to receive them, and I will not be so stressed out and so angry and so resentful that I cannot see the blessings that are coming my way. And that was mine to solve, not anybody else's to do. You start understanding that you wanna do the work that represents you, not because it guarantees you a response from them, because the odds are you're not gonna get the response that you're looking for. And sometimes you will. Sometimes you will get that instant gratification. But you do the work because you wanna do it, and you expect and believe in the fact that you will reap what you sow in the season that it's meant for you. Trust that. That is what's life-changing, and that's important for you to carry with you. Because when we expect more from ourselves Then from other people, we create freedom, we create peace, we create a plan to be able to see, okay, they are or they are not going to get it. They are willing to grow or they are not. And then it becomes our choice to move on from those people, or it becomes our choice to stay in that level of frustration with people. One of the most freeing choices that we have is to literally understand I have to expect more for myself because I know that this person in front of me is not capable. I have to stop expecting them to be more capable than they are. And this does not mean that we're lowering our standards. It does not mean that we're tolerating bad behavior. It does not mean that we're allowing people to ignore our policies, our expectations, or the responsibilities they have each shift in their role. But what it does mean is that if I'm expecting more for myself than others, it means that I'm clarifying and defining what success is. It means that I communicate the standard, and I manage and lead to that standard. I protect that standard. My decision-making, my choices, my awareness of the standard and leading and managing to the standard is important. Which means that I coach people, and I determine are they willing? Are they capable? Can they do it? My follow-up, my speed to that follow-up is important. I hold myself accountable. I take accountability for things that even I'm not responsible for. I document things that I should, and I create the consequences, both good and bad, for people who actually put in the work and the people who don't put in the work. I make the decisions that create the atmosphere that I and everybody else work in. This is what happens. This is the control that you have. You cannot control other people. This is the clarity, the strength of what growth and energy management actually means. This type of leadership, this type of self-control, self-determination does give you power, but not power of over dominance or authoritative power, but influential power in making a difference and an impact in people's lives. Because this type of power influences people to grow, to lead better, and to rise higher. The truth is, You cannot change people You cannot You cannot crawl inside of their brain and pull the mechanisms just like the people in that Disney movie, all the different emotions in that Disney movie do. You cannot do that. You can create anxiety in yourself thinking that you can. You can create anxiety in others by not clearly defining what success is and managing them to an undefined definition, right? But you can set the standard because standards tell people what you require, and most of us have that standard, the rules and the regs, the policies and procedures. You know, these are the standards. Are we, are we managing and leading to the standards? Or are we just expecting people to know the standards and to live and work by the standards? Because we all know that's not always happening. So this is when expectations become dangerous, when we confuse them with control. You can control nothing. But you can create and communicate and clarify what the consequences are when the expectations are not met after they've been communicated. It's the power of communication. It's the power of self-leadership. And most of the time, just a reminder, we have to say things seven times in order for people to understand them and make a difference. Seven times, which is a lot. The other thing I think we fall into is the curse of knowledge trap, that everybody knows what you know or that they've been working in the industry for five years, so they should know XYZ. Assume no one knows anything. Just assume it. No one knows anything and over-communicate the simple terms because I do believe we overcomplicate simple things. The only growth, the only person whose growth I can guarantee is mine. That's it. You can invest in others, you can bring the horse to the water, but you cannot force the horse to drink. But you can start treating people and leading people to a standard that you're going to protect, 'cause that's where safety comes, in protecting and leading and managing to the standard and communicating the standard, right? Your communication, your decision-making, your boundaries, your follow-up, your own emotional regulation, your ability to coach and have the hard conversations and to recognize when people will grow, can grow, won't grow, and being able to move on when it's time to move on. Those are the things that help create a more positive energy inside of you. You are the leader of the community. You are the leader of your department. You are the, the parent in your household. You matter, and your energy matters because you matter, and you're worth it. People cannot hear what you do not say. So if you are saying, "They should know. They should see it. They should realize. They should appreciate me. They should know how much I'm doing. They should know what I expect." all those sentences have should. Stop should-ing on yourself, right? Because should is an incredibly expensive word when it replaces communication because your energy, your negative energy increases because you didn't make communication a priority. You're just assuming they know. That is the curse of knowledge Sometimes we're in so deep we cannot get to the shallow end when most of our people live in the shallow end. That's the curse of knowledge. Unspoken expectations create invisible opportunities for disappointment at every level. So some things I wanna ask you is, where are your biggest disappointments and most negative energy moments? Where are they focused at? Who are they focused at? What department are they focused at? and if it's at home, I call it mama drama, before mama drama comes out or before a termination happens, ask yourself, "Have I communicated what these expectations are on very simple terms? Was I clear? Did they understand it? Are they agreeing to it? Is it reasonable for this person to meet this expectation?" I mean, and have they demonstrated that they have the capacity to meet it? Or am I expecting a potential instead of accepting the evidence? Because remember, acceptance is truly a choice that you make or it's a choice that you fight. And if you fight it, there's a bunch of negative energy holding you hostage, and if you accept it, there's peace because if you accept it and you move on, you've created more peace by letting go of the negative energy. And I'm just here to tell you, sometimes rock bottom is what people need in order to become more aware of themselves, right? Acceptance isn't approval. Acceptance is just accurate information that helps you make the right decision And if you're having a hard time accepting something then you need to understand why cause it's costing you too much of negative energy I say all this to you because I was that leader. I was a person who ran out of capacity. I was person who was resentful of not being appreciated for all of her hard work, of resentful from l- working in a state that requires very specific attention to detail and regs and constantly having to fight off people or educate people with higher titles that didn't know. Right? I became resentful in those areas, and all that negative energy left me with zero capacity. Zero. I like to say that my give a damns were on vacation, like Sabrina Carpenter sings. Um, I just didn't care anymore. I didn't care, and that wasn't who I was. That's not who I am. And what I did is I isolated myself, and I ran my community as if we were a standalone community and not part of a corporate office. I didn't isolate myself from my residents and my associates because I loved them. They were a part of my family, so to speak, I had these resentments, towards the corporate office. I basically just disassociated with them, which is crazy to me thinking back on it. I did not have the capacity to think about the company as a whole. I had the capacity to think about my community and my family, and so I isolated myself from them. And I didn't understand their point of view. I didn't understand a lot of things from their point of view because there were things I didn't understand from a big-picture perspective, you know? But ultimately, when change kind of was coming my way I couldn't change with the times. Instead of realizing my own role in not having the capacity to change, I blamed. I blamed them, and I hid behind what I believed was regulatory issues why the change shouldn't happen. And I was wrong. And in some points, maybe I was right, but the way that I presented everything, the way I defended things, the way that I was so intense on winning, deserved to be removed from the situation. And I also think there was ways to solve this that the company just wasn't willing to invest in. And that was to me, the next step I took when my life completely fell apart, was into a group coaching program. Everything in my life changed when my perspective changed, when I understood what resentment was, the energy game, and, and how I played a role in my own de-demise. What I needed was a podcast like this, was a book that I ended up reading, Gifts of Imperfection, um, Believe It by Jamie Kern Lima. Like, stories from women about how they failed, what they learned, and, and how they rose to higher levels because of it. And I believe that leaders inside the senior living industry, we need a place, a space, and some grace to grow, where as long as we're failing forward, we're never gonna fail, right? For somebody to say, "Why do you have all this negative energy?" Because it's not good for you. Because again, think about it this way, your energy is a paycheck. Where are you spending it? Are you spending it on resentment, unspoken expectations, trying to change someone who has repeatedly shown you that they are not going to change, this is who they are, waiting for recognition, trying to control something that was never yours to control? Because that's where a lot of negative energy is spent Or are you investing it in growth, communication, boundaries, relationships, coaching perspective in your own presence and what-- how you're showing up and your own capacity? Because capacity is really the problem. It's not burnout, folks. We're giving something that we don't have. We're not investing in refueling in our own energy, and so we just reach a point where we don't have anything to give. So I wanna ask you these three questions. What am I expecting from someone that I haven't clearly communicated? What am I giving with an invisible expectation attached, an invisible invoice? I am helping you do this, and silently I'm expecting you to do what? And what would happen if I invested that same energy into my own growth? Because the only person you can change is you, not them The only promise that you have is that tomorrow will be better than today if you decide that you, your growth will allow that to happen. And that decision, that investment, that awareness may be the greatest return on your energy that is gonna be available to any leader or any person on this planet. And that's exactly why I created the work that I do, right? Why this podcast exists, why 100% Leader exists, why my one-on-one coaching exists. I help people with perspective, with growth, with resentments, with negative energy, right? We are asked to give so much, and I think it's important to focus on 100% leadership because to me, that's a both a personal and professional development process to gain significance rather than just success, which is 100% occupancy. Because this industry, this profession that we choose to do will value significance more than it will value success. People can take your success away, but people will never be able to take your significance away, and that's an important thought to reflect on, okay? So if you are ready to grow, lead, and rise, our new cohort of 100% Leaders is gonna start in September. I want to personally invite you to join that. Obviously, my coaching is, is open, um, to anyone. I work with entrepreneurs, with senior living leaders, people who wanna be executive directors, people who want to just grow in their role, and I give them hope and perspective and a future that they didn't even know was available to them. And I also help with practical, logical things like messaging for your business and your elevator pitch and prepare you for important meetings and important decisions that you have to make because having that third-party perspective is very important. I want you to know this. Expect more from yourself, communicate what you need from others, and stop spending your energy trying to control the difference. You matter, your growth matters, and there's ways for you to be successful, so focus on that 'cause that's what you're in control of. And always aspire for more for you